Wow. A colleague just pointed me to the Internet Archive's WayBack Machine. As he put it, "it's an archive of webpages from the beginning of the internet." Okay, well, not exactly, but he can be forgiven, having just turned 26 yesterday. As I've mentioned before, I've had a near-continuous webpresence since about 1994. The archive began in 1996. I did find some evidence of my pre-existence however, in an archived directory of personal webpages from my first graduate career at Rice University. Alas, my personal webpages themselves are missing. But I'm listed in the directory.
Check it out. I did find several copies of my faculty profile from a community college I taught at until 2000. Sweet.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Not so much lately
I haven't been writing so much lately, at least not here. It's good to check in though, and I will continue to make the effort to have something to say here every day or so. I've been busy, which is good. I've been more productive lately. I'm still working on the distillation article from my dissertation. As I explained before it's becoming a lot more than simply editing down the dissertation.
I'm not sure I fully explained the sitation before, so I'll do that briefly now. While I was overseas doing mostly archival work on my dissertation, two volumes came out by a foundation press named for the central figure of my dissertation. It was a collection of his essays, letters, lecture notes, drafts, etc. many of which had not been published elsewhere. I purchased them then, and referenced them in my dissertation (and in a couple articles I published at the time). However, I principally used them as a resource for the original text of articles I was previously aware of, mostly having read them in translation.
In deciding to publish a distillation article from the disseration, I thought I ought to revisit these materials and go over some of the articles in the original, rather than relying on translations or basing my quotes on second-hand references from other articles. Last week, I thumbed through the first (and much larger) volume, to select out articles and such that I should read over. I knew of two, and thought there might be another 3 or 4 to read.
I was sorely mistaken! I came up with 25 different entries which I ought to have read, and be knowledgeable of, and possibly cite. Granted, there are perhaps only 5 or 10 other people in the world who will have read all of those articles. More now that the volumes have been published. But that's exactly the point. If I am an expert of this, I need to be an expert on it. Most of those who will have read those articles, don't publish in English.
I've been trudging my way through it all. I've gotten through the first two articles, translating large sections of them. I've also been writing my distillation article as I go along, citing from the articles, revising things I wrote before. All the while, I'm working on my other blog, which while seemingly unrelated to the topic of my dissertation, is research-oriented, close to my heart, and an area of research that I am working to develop into a larger part of my life, hopefully my professional life as well. So, I've been reading articles in this additional area of research as well.
My mother always told me that if only I would concentrate on one thing I would accomplish anything I wanted. Well, I've come to realize that I work best when the thing I focus on is deep beneath the surface, while all evidence points to a scattered mind. Synthesis is my forte, drawing diverse ideas together from seemingly unrelated fields, finding their erstwhile hidden links, and piecing these together.
We all must follow our paths. I think finishing the PhD was some accomplishment, and evidence that my path works for me. Now back to it... more reading, and translating, and writing. Oh yeah... and some job applications... and calls to set up servicing for the car... and registering the van... and scheduling a doctor's visit... and.... one thing at a time, eh?
I'm not sure I fully explained the sitation before, so I'll do that briefly now. While I was overseas doing mostly archival work on my dissertation, two volumes came out by a foundation press named for the central figure of my dissertation. It was a collection of his essays, letters, lecture notes, drafts, etc. many of which had not been published elsewhere. I purchased them then, and referenced them in my dissertation (and in a couple articles I published at the time). However, I principally used them as a resource for the original text of articles I was previously aware of, mostly having read them in translation.
In deciding to publish a distillation article from the disseration, I thought I ought to revisit these materials and go over some of the articles in the original, rather than relying on translations or basing my quotes on second-hand references from other articles. Last week, I thumbed through the first (and much larger) volume, to select out articles and such that I should read over. I knew of two, and thought there might be another 3 or 4 to read.
I was sorely mistaken! I came up with 25 different entries which I ought to have read, and be knowledgeable of, and possibly cite. Granted, there are perhaps only 5 or 10 other people in the world who will have read all of those articles. More now that the volumes have been published. But that's exactly the point. If I am an expert of this, I need to be an expert on it. Most of those who will have read those articles, don't publish in English.
I've been trudging my way through it all. I've gotten through the first two articles, translating large sections of them. I've also been writing my distillation article as I go along, citing from the articles, revising things I wrote before. All the while, I'm working on my other blog, which while seemingly unrelated to the topic of my dissertation, is research-oriented, close to my heart, and an area of research that I am working to develop into a larger part of my life, hopefully my professional life as well. So, I've been reading articles in this additional area of research as well.
My mother always told me that if only I would concentrate on one thing I would accomplish anything I wanted. Well, I've come to realize that I work best when the thing I focus on is deep beneath the surface, while all evidence points to a scattered mind. Synthesis is my forte, drawing diverse ideas together from seemingly unrelated fields, finding their erstwhile hidden links, and piecing these together.
We all must follow our paths. I think finishing the PhD was some accomplishment, and evidence that my path works for me. Now back to it... more reading, and translating, and writing. Oh yeah... and some job applications... and calls to set up servicing for the car... and registering the van... and scheduling a doctor's visit... and....
PhD Weblogs
Just discovered this site called PhDweblogs.net, as they put it a non-profit initiative to bring together PhD students' weblogs from all around the world. So, check them out, if you're interested.
Monday, January 30, 2006
One person's view on the job search
Here's an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education by an English Department chair about what, and with whom, to discuss about the job search. Just one guy's take, but he's in a much better position than I to dispense advice on this, I suppose.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
A small rant about society
Just need to get this out. Last night had my weekly date with my wife. We decided to just do a little shopping, spend some time walking and talking, then have a nice meal together. We had Thai food.
First we visited the mall. Stepped into Banana Republic. What?!? $78 for some ugly button-down shirt that is likely made in the same sweat shop as other shirts sold for $30 or $40, which by the way probably cost the manufacturer more in terms of shipping costs and customs duties than materials or labor. What's the point of spending extra money when: a) you don't get any extra quality in materials or workmanship and b) you don't get any added value from knowledgeable and helpful staff. So, no thank you.
I remember stepping into a Rolex shop a few years ago, when I was tired of the cheap $30 watches I kept buying. I figured maybe it was time to step up to the $200-250 price range, something that would last. HAH! Okay, first off they don't have anything less than 4 digits in price, we're talking their budget models were starting at $2500 or so... and it's probably $4000 by now. I said, "wow,... okay, so I can get some good quality watches for 250 bucks by another brand, what makes this watch here worth 10 times the price?" "The brand name." "No, no, no... I mean, I know that, but I can get a really good watch for a tenth the price... what makes this one different, or better." "Just the name." Ah...
When I was a boy, the kiss of death for just about anything was my mom saying, "but, it's fashionable." You know what's fashionable these days? Guys walking across the streets with one hand permanently attached to one side of their pants, so they don't fall down to their ankles! I think I'll pass.
First we visited the mall. Stepped into Banana Republic. What?!? $78 for some ugly button-down shirt that is likely made in the same sweat shop as other shirts sold for $30 or $40, which by the way probably cost the manufacturer more in terms of shipping costs and customs duties than materials or labor. What's the point of spending extra money when: a) you don't get any extra quality in materials or workmanship and b) you don't get any added value from knowledgeable and helpful staff. So, no thank you.
I remember stepping into a Rolex shop a few years ago, when I was tired of the cheap $30 watches I kept buying. I figured maybe it was time to step up to the $200-250 price range, something that would last. HAH! Okay, first off they don't have anything less than 4 digits in price, we're talking their budget models were starting at $2500 or so... and it's probably $4000 by now. I said, "wow,... okay, so I can get some good quality watches for 250 bucks by another brand, what makes this watch here worth 10 times the price?" "The brand name." "No, no, no... I mean, I know that, but I can get a really good watch for a tenth the price... what makes this one different, or better." "Just the name." Ah...
When I was a boy, the kiss of death for just about anything was my mom saying, "but, it's fashionable." You know what's fashionable these days? Guys walking across the streets with one hand permanently attached to one side of their pants, so they don't fall down to their ankles! I think I'll pass.
Friday, January 27, 2006
To name names or not?
Okay, now that I've sent the new cover letter off, I need to get a few more opinions. Noticed two new postings yesterday, one for a one-year gig stateside, and another two for lectureships at a school in the UK. Both in departments incidentally where I am on friendly terms with a senior faculty member. In fact, they both served on a panel I organized and chaired at an international conference a few years back. In fact, they have both been among my references. So, it could be a good sign.
That said, I'm not relying on nepotism. It doesn't seem to work that way. In anticipation of preparing the next round of letters, here's the question:
In the latest cover letter, I named names. I noted particular faculty members at the school and aspects of their research that appealed to me. I specified ones in and out of the department with whom I would seek to set up collaborations, and on what topics. The point was to show that I know them, I've researched them, and I think it would be a good fit, and here is how and why. The feedback from the three profs I consulted prior to sending the application was split on this question. One said "name names," a second said "don't". Any comments?
Second somewhat related question: I also quoted a couple student evals saying in effect: "he's a great teacher." The point here was to allay any concerns over the fact that I look on paper much more like a researcher than a teacher. I want to make it clear that I am both. The first prof (who said "name names") said on this point, essentially "don't quote students, it sounds boastful," whereas the suggestion to quote student evals came from the "don't name names" prof. GAH!
Well, it seems less boastful to quote students than to simply assert, "hey, I'm a great teacher, and if you don't believe me, well, you can just go away, okay?" So, I went with the quotes. Any thoughts from the ether on this count, especially from those of you sitting or having sat on hiring committees?
That said, I'm not relying on nepotism. It doesn't seem to work that way. In anticipation of preparing the next round of letters, here's the question:
In the latest cover letter, I named names. I noted particular faculty members at the school and aspects of their research that appealed to me. I specified ones in and out of the department with whom I would seek to set up collaborations, and on what topics. The point was to show that I know them, I've researched them, and I think it would be a good fit, and here is how and why. The feedback from the three profs I consulted prior to sending the application was split on this question. One said "name names," a second said "don't". Any comments?
Second somewhat related question: I also quoted a couple student evals saying in effect: "he's a great teacher." The point here was to allay any concerns over the fact that I look on paper much more like a researcher than a teacher. I want to make it clear that I am both. The first prof (who said "name names") said on this point, essentially "don't quote students, it sounds boastful," whereas the suggestion to quote student evals came from the "don't name names" prof. GAH!
Well, it seems less boastful to quote students than to simply assert, "hey, I'm a great teacher, and if you don't believe me, well, you can just go away, okay?" So, I went with the quotes. Any thoughts from the ether on this count, especially from those of you sitting or having sat on hiring committees?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Mushrooms (for parents)
#1, tonight at dinner: Daddy, why do you call them mushrooms? They're not rooms, they're things you eat.
Me: Well, I guess I'll have to check the etymology of the word. Can you say "etymology"
#1: eta-mology
He's a pretty amazing little linguist, he is.
For those curious (from the Oxford English Dictionary online):
[< Anglo-Norman muserun, muscheroun, musheroun, musherum, musscherom, musseron, mussherum, mosheron, Middle French mouceron (c1190 in Old French in form mosseron, cf. also musserun (13th cent.), earlier in Franco-Occitan in form moisserun (c1180 in Girart de Roussillon; cf. Old French moisseron (c1225)); Middle French, French mousseron (1532 in Middle French; cf. MOUSSERON n.)) < an unattested post-classical Latin *mussarion-, *mussario (cf. musarion-, musario and mussirion-, mussirio (both 6th cent., although perh. later: the MSS in which the forms are attested are 11th cent.)), of unknown origin. The Franco-Occitan and Middle French palatalized forms in moiss- (which in turn give rise to forms in /{sh}/: cf. Anglo-Norman forms cited above, and also Occitan mocharnon, Catalan moixernó (1762)) have not been satisfactorily explained (see Französisches Etymol. Wörterbuch s.v. *mussario; and for an alternative theory see J. Coromines Diccionari Etimol?gic i Complementari de la Llengua Catalana (1985) s.v. moixernó). Cf. also Old Occitan molsairó (14th cent.), app. showing the influence of Old Occitan molsa MOSS n.1 ...]
Me: Well, I guess I'll have to check the etymology of the word. Can you say "etymology"
#1: eta-mology
He's a pretty amazing little linguist, he is.
For those curious (from the Oxford English Dictionary online):
[< Anglo-Norman muserun, muscheroun, musheroun, musherum, musscherom, musseron, mussherum, mosheron, Middle French mouceron (c1190 in Old French in form mosseron, cf. also musserun (13th cent.), earlier in Franco-Occitan in form moisserun (c1180 in Girart de Roussillon; cf. Old French moisseron (c1225)); Middle French, French mousseron (1532 in Middle French; cf. MOUSSERON n.)) < an unattested post-classical Latin *mussarion-, *mussario (cf. musarion-, musario and mussirion-, mussirio (both 6th cent., although perh. later: the MSS in which the forms are attested are 11th cent.)), of unknown origin. The Franco-Occitan and Middle French palatalized forms in moiss- (which in turn give rise to forms in /{sh}/: cf. Anglo-Norman forms cited above, and also Occitan mocharnon, Catalan moixernó (1762)) have not been satisfactorily explained (see Französisches Etymol. Wörterbuch s.v. *mussario; and for an alternative theory see J. Coromines Diccionari Etimol?gic i Complementari de la Llengua Catalana (1985) s.v. moixernó). Cf. also Old Occitan molsairó (14th cent.), app. showing the influence of Old Occitan molsa MOSS n.1 ...]
Sent off, etc.
I sent my application materials out this afternoon! I feel good about the new cover letter, including specific references to the school in question, ideas about collaborations, and a good deal more detail about my research and teaching. The feedback I got here and in RL were abundantly helpful.
Number One came with me to the post office to priority mail it. Both boys & I spent the morning together, going for a long walk down the hill to the local bagel shop. It was great fun. We left around 8:00, and arrived there around 8:45 or so. At 9:15, after bagels and donuts, I called the au pair to come rescue us (especially as, halfway there, I realized Number Two needed a change, and I didn't have the diaper bag). But I wanted to get back and get to work. I'm proud of myself though for really letting go, and concentrating on just being a dad. Getting out the house helps me avoid the distractions.
But, Number One was terribly upset when the van showed up around 9:30. He had wanted to walk back home. And he weepily insisted that I not work today. It breaks my heart. I explained that I love spending time with him, but that it's best for people to have well-rounded lives, meaning we do a variety of things. Sometimes we spend time with family, and sometimes we work.
It's a fine balance, though. And I'm not always convinced I've settled it yet. My schedule and my life are always in flux, so there's always room for tweaking. At times I do forget to let myself enjoy the parts of my life that really are wonderful. I decided yesterday to institute a new policy, but I haven't figured out the details yet. My mistress and I have to spend less time with each other in the evenings. (Okay, stop gasping... the mistress is not a woman but a computer, my Dell Inspiron), whom we affectionately call "Di". I want to make a commitment that I can and will keep, one that's realistic. Something along the lines of no computing from 5:30 until after the boys are asleep, is what I'm thinking. But I want to make sure that accomodates quality time with my wife also.
Maybe I should just cut it out entirely in the evenings. But I don't have access to a printer on campus (one reason why I sometimes work at home, like today). So, I have to make sure I can get things printed when I need to. Typically, I watch the boys in the mornings (usually until 8:00 or 10:00/10:30, sometimes until noon) and in the afternoons (normally from about 4:00 to about 5:30/6:00, when my wife gets home, and I make dinner). The au pair watches them about 40 hours a week (including time for a weekly date for me und die Frau). But I sometimes want a little time for myself when she gets home, and I justify that it's good for the boys to spend some time just with mom.
Well, I'll work it out, and let you know. Any thoughts of what works for you?
Number One came with me to the post office to priority mail it. Both boys & I spent the morning together, going for a long walk down the hill to the local bagel shop. It was great fun. We left around 8:00, and arrived there around 8:45 or so. At 9:15, after bagels and donuts, I called the au pair to come rescue us (especially as, halfway there, I realized Number Two needed a change, and I didn't have the diaper bag). But I wanted to get back and get to work. I'm proud of myself though for really letting go, and concentrating on just being a dad. Getting out the house helps me avoid the distractions.
But, Number One was terribly upset when the van showed up around 9:30. He had wanted to walk back home. And he weepily insisted that I not work today. It breaks my heart. I explained that I love spending time with him, but that it's best for people to have well-rounded lives, meaning we do a variety of things. Sometimes we spend time with family, and sometimes we work.
It's a fine balance, though. And I'm not always convinced I've settled it yet. My schedule and my life are always in flux, so there's always room for tweaking. At times I do forget to let myself enjoy the parts of my life that really are wonderful. I decided yesterday to institute a new policy, but I haven't figured out the details yet. My mistress and I have to spend less time with each other in the evenings. (Okay, stop gasping... the mistress is not a woman but a computer, my Dell Inspiron), whom we affectionately call "Di". I want to make a commitment that I can and will keep, one that's realistic. Something along the lines of no computing from 5:30 until after the boys are asleep, is what I'm thinking. But I want to make sure that accomodates quality time with my wife also.
Maybe I should just cut it out entirely in the evenings. But I don't have access to a printer on campus (one reason why I sometimes work at home, like today). So, I have to make sure I can get things printed when I need to. Typically, I watch the boys in the mornings (usually until 8:00 or 10:00/10:30, sometimes until noon) and in the afternoons (normally from about 4:00 to about 5:30/6:00, when my wife gets home, and I make dinner). The au pair watches them about 40 hours a week (including time for a weekly date for me und die Frau). But I sometimes want a little time for myself when she gets home, and I justify that it's good for the boys to spend some time just with mom.
Well, I'll work it out, and let you know. Any thoughts of what works for you?
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Taking some time
I've been up since about 4:00 this morning. One of the cats woke me up at 3:38 (I always look at the clock and remember exactly when I'm awakened, don't know why). I tried to go back to sleep, but tossed for about a half hour.
Decided I had too much on my mind to sleep. I can never sleep when I'm thinking about something I'm working on. I lay in bed with my eyes closed, composing in my head. Not conducive to restfulness. (That's why I never take work to bed to read anymore!) So, I got up, and worked on this cover letter from about 4:30 until 6:00.
I was in a good mood this morning (until I asked my wife to critique the letter, but that's another story). Then son number one tumbled off a chair, splitting his lower lip, and I later discovered his upper gums. I'm taking him back to the dentist in about a half hour to get it stitched up.
So, I'm sitting here just now (the boys are at the park with the au pair for an hour) feeling guilty that I'm not working on translating these articles. But... my energy is low, my mind is wandering. So the guilt sets in.
But I decided that, you know what, I did get things accomplished today. How productive should I expect to be when I got up at 4:00? The job search is draining, emotionally, physically. At least it is for me, and I suspect for others in my field. For most of them ...
I made the mistake of stopping by a young assistant professor's office yesterday in my old department. She was hired in two years ago (ABD at the time). She's nice. The students love her. She asked me about how things are going. What I'm gonna say? The job search sucks. It was awkward, uncomfortable for me, watching her squirm, trying to posture empathy.
She's good. Don't get me wrong. Different specialization from me, but same field. She came from a Ivy League school. I'm guessing she had two or three interviews, and took the best offer. She has no idea what I'm talking about. I'm thinking she's probably never felt rejection in her life.
Does that make me less of a scholar that I struggle to get a job, and she didn't? I don't think so, not most of the time. So what if life is unfair? It does me no good to wallow in it. The better part of me wishes good fortune on most people. It's not fun to be turned away.
... had to run and take the boy to the dentist, more about that later...
Frankly, the first time I ran into trouble was applying to PhD programs. Before then, I had breezed into just about everything. I applied to four schools, and got accepted only to two of them. It was a shock to me. I took it as a challenge though. And I accomplished quite a bit. I finished in five years, in a field with a normative time of seven, and not uncommon to spend 9 years before graduating. But I've been in slow motion ever since.
I guess that's a large part of why I started this blog. My wife sympathizes, but she doesn't really understand what I'm going through. She's in a field (in industry, not academia) where last spring when we decided we couldn't keep coasting off our savings, she made two calls, got two interviews, and two job offers!
As I've discovered, many academics, in fields more in demand than mine, don't experience the same difficulties. As I wrote above, clearly there are many even in my own field who somehow make it through. It's a tough line to hold, believing in oneself, yet accepting that others for whatever reason have an easier path. The trick is to keep believing in oneself.
Decided I had too much on my mind to sleep. I can never sleep when I'm thinking about something I'm working on. I lay in bed with my eyes closed, composing in my head. Not conducive to restfulness. (That's why I never take work to bed to read anymore!) So, I got up, and worked on this cover letter from about 4:30 until 6:00.
I was in a good mood this morning (until I asked my wife to critique the letter, but that's another story). Then son number one tumbled off a chair, splitting his lower lip, and I later discovered his upper gums. I'm taking him back to the dentist in about a half hour to get it stitched up.
So, I'm sitting here just now (the boys are at the park with the au pair for an hour) feeling guilty that I'm not working on translating these articles. But... my energy is low, my mind is wandering. So the guilt sets in.
But I decided that, you know what, I did get things accomplished today. How productive should I expect to be when I got up at 4:00? The job search is draining, emotionally, physically. At least it is for me, and I suspect for others in my field. For most of them ...
I made the mistake of stopping by a young assistant professor's office yesterday in my old department. She was hired in two years ago (ABD at the time). She's nice. The students love her. She asked me about how things are going. What I'm gonna say? The job search sucks. It was awkward, uncomfortable for me, watching her squirm, trying to posture empathy.
She's good. Don't get me wrong. Different specialization from me, but same field. She came from a Ivy League school. I'm guessing she had two or three interviews, and took the best offer. She has no idea what I'm talking about. I'm thinking she's probably never felt rejection in her life.
Does that make me less of a scholar that I struggle to get a job, and she didn't? I don't think so, not most of the time. So what if life is unfair? It does me no good to wallow in it. The better part of me wishes good fortune on most people. It's not fun to be turned away.
... had to run and take the boy to the dentist, more about that later...
Frankly, the first time I ran into trouble was applying to PhD programs. Before then, I had breezed into just about everything. I applied to four schools, and got accepted only to two of them. It was a shock to me. I took it as a challenge though. And I accomplished quite a bit. I finished in five years, in a field with a normative time of seven, and not uncommon to spend 9 years before graduating. But I've been in slow motion ever since.
I guess that's a large part of why I started this blog. My wife sympathizes, but she doesn't really understand what I'm going through. She's in a field (in industry, not academia) where last spring when we decided we couldn't keep coasting off our savings, she made two calls, got two interviews, and two job offers!
As I've discovered, many academics, in fields more in demand than mine, don't experience the same difficulties. As I wrote above, clearly there are many even in my own field who somehow make it through. It's a tough line to hold, believing in oneself, yet accepting that others for whatever reason have an easier path. The trick is to keep believing in oneself.
History jobs and calm nerves
It looks like History is the field to be in these days (too bad it's not my field). More jobs than PhDs.
In other news, according to Reuters, researchers in Paisley have determined that sex before a talk or presentation is what the doctor ordered. Another good reason to bring your lovers along for job talks, but leave them in the hotel room.
In other news, according to Reuters, researchers in Paisley have determined that sex before a talk or presentation is what the doctor ordered. Another good reason to bring your lovers along for job talks, but leave them in the hotel room.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Some more feedback
Well, here's some feedback I got from a friend of mine, who happens to be an Associate Professor in the department I graduated from, and one of my references for jobs.
Here is my overarching concern. Your research is truly exciting and unique. It is also so unique that very few people in [our field's] departments know or have interest in the core of your research. Have you considered [a particular research establishment in Paris]? There you might be able to present yourself as the research scholar that you are. But what about just about every job stateside? You need to figure out how you fit into a [departmental] program. Yes, tell committees about your work, but also tell them why they should be interested and what it will contribute to their interests and that of their students. Reassure them that you will cover those service courses they need taught. ... This is what junior faculty have the privilege of teaching.
... Right now your letter reflects your mind, and that is not a bad thing in and of itself. However, it must also place you in a department, and you have not done that yet.
Please excuse me if this is harsh. Just one semi-junior guy's read.
My response:
No apologies necessary. I want direct and honest feedback, something I've gotten little of since I arrived here in 2000. No one has stood in my way, but I've had little guidance and direction, partly just bad timing I guess. The result may have been a sort of estrangement from what others are doing. I guess that's the downfall of heading off in your own direction: you might think you're blazing a trail, but when you look back, there's noone following.
I've had enough self-pity, and probably enough of the flip-side, arrogance. The task at hand is for me to get a job, where I feel a part of the culture, where I can contribute to research and teaching, where I respect and admire my colleagues, and they me (at least enough of them in both cases to make it worth it), and where I have a connection to my students as well. I truly believe I have something to contribute. I want to find the best way to do that.
...
Just so you know, I very much appreciate your input, and your friendship.
Well, there you have it. I've got a task in front of me, and hopefully a job at the end of the road.
Here is my overarching concern. Your research is truly exciting and unique. It is also so unique that very few people in [our field's] departments know or have interest in the core of your research. Have you considered [a particular research establishment in Paris]? There you might be able to present yourself as the research scholar that you are. But what about just about every job stateside? You need to figure out how you fit into a [departmental] program. Yes, tell committees about your work, but also tell them why they should be interested and what it will contribute to their interests and that of their students. Reassure them that you will cover those service courses they need taught. ... This is what junior faculty have the privilege of teaching.
... Right now your letter reflects your mind, and that is not a bad thing in and of itself. However, it must also place you in a department, and you have not done that yet.
Please excuse me if this is harsh. Just one semi-junior guy's read.
My response:
No apologies necessary. I want direct and honest feedback, something I've gotten little of since I arrived here in 2000. No one has stood in my way, but I've had little guidance and direction, partly just bad timing I guess. The result may have been a sort of estrangement from what others are doing. I guess that's the downfall of heading off in your own direction: you might think you're blazing a trail, but when you look back, there's noone following.
I've had enough self-pity, and probably enough of the flip-side, arrogance. The task at hand is for me to get a job, where I feel a part of the culture, where I can contribute to research and teaching, where I respect and admire my colleagues, and they me (at least enough of them in both cases to make it worth it), and where I have a connection to my students as well. I truly believe I have something to contribute. I want to find the best way to do that.
...
Just so you know, I very much appreciate your input, and your friendship.
Well, there you have it. I've got a task in front of me, and hopefully a job at the end of the road.
Rewrite
Alright, so I tweaked the CV a bit, putting "Honors & Awards" on page 1, not page 3. I cut down my references list from 11 to 5. I cut out extraneous details (like the city of publication for journals I've published in). Finally, I added a separate heading for Conference Panels that I've organized and/or chaired.
I also completely rewrote a new cover letter, expanding to two full pages. I detailed more about what my dissertation accomplished. I wrote two whole paragraphs on my current and planned research agenda. I included three paragraphs on my teaching, lectures, conference presentations, and other public activities, talking about courses I've taught, new courses I propose, and my general approach and philosophy to the subject matter.
My dissertation chair (yes, I got him to email me!) suggests that I work a bit more on the opening paragraph (since it may be the only one they read) to be "more of a summary and less of an introduction." As he puts it:
In general, I find it better when people speak of their enthusiasms rather than their accomplishments, and use a cover letter to do the kinds of things you can't do in a CV; that is, convey the flavor of the applicant and their thought.
This one goes out to an Ivy League school tomorrow. Wish me well.
I also completely rewrote a new cover letter, expanding to two full pages. I detailed more about what my dissertation accomplished. I wrote two whole paragraphs on my current and planned research agenda. I included three paragraphs on my teaching, lectures, conference presentations, and other public activities, talking about courses I've taught, new courses I propose, and my general approach and philosophy to the subject matter.
My dissertation chair (yes, I got him to email me!) suggests that I work a bit more on the opening paragraph (since it may be the only one they read) to be "more of a summary and less of an introduction." As he puts it:
In general, I find it better when people speak of their enthusiasms rather than their accomplishments, and use a cover letter to do the kinds of things you can't do in a CV; that is, convey the flavor of the applicant and their thought.
This one goes out to an Ivy League school tomorrow. Wish me well.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Apologies
Apologies to all of you regulars. My moods go up and down. Today was a bit better. Good meeting with the Young Professor in my department, who gave me a good deal of suggestions for rearranging and honing my CV, and suggested that I fear not to extend my cover letters beyond one page, especially since I should spend a few paragraphs outlining my research, and not be afraid to tackle the "here's why this is relevant to you" issues.
And, I've spent the day going over two of the foreign language articles that I need to work my way through. The deal is there is a series of articles, by a central figure in my dissertation (written about 100 years ago), but unavailable in English (unless I translate them), and virtually unavailable in their original (a language with about 10 million native speakers). I just didn't incorporate that work directly into my diss. But, it seems necessary to fill in that gap now. So, I'm on the path. I'll keep you all informed of the journey.
Thanks for being there.
And, I've spent the day going over two of the foreign language articles that I need to work my way through. The deal is there is a series of articles, by a central figure in my dissertation (written about 100 years ago), but unavailable in English (unless I translate them), and virtually unavailable in their original (a language with about 10 million native speakers). I just didn't incorporate that work directly into my diss. But, it seems necessary to fill in that gap now. So, I'm on the path. I'll keep you all informed of the journey.
Thanks for being there.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Valued & useful
I think of Thomas the Steam Engine. Sir Topham Hat: "You're a very useful engine." Boy wouldn't that make my day?
Valued & Useful. I said to my wife this evening, as she stressed over the pressures of work, that yes there are stresses, and it would seem that "upper management" would have been better off to listen to their charges a bit earlier, like last August when they said they needed 6 more people on the job to get things done according to contract schedule. Instead, they dragged their feet, and now are threatening the possibility of mandatory 50-hour weeks. She did work 50 hours this past week. So, yes, she is working hard, and has a great deal of responsibility, and is being asked to sign off on things that she isn't really given enough time with to honestly do that task.
But she is valued and useful. Which, sadly, is not something I can say about myself these days. I'm more like a skin tag that hangs from the neck or nose, which every now and again gets picked at until the host remembers I'm a permanent fixture of their physique. It's not pretty to feel that way.
The more I think about the career, the more depressed I get. There is only one thing for me to do, however, at the moment, and that is to forge ahead. I'm actually doing a bit more though. I've got a lunch meeting with a young professor in my department, just to talk about the academic job search and career path. And I've got a half hour appointment with a career counselor on campus this week as well.
I just need to break the silence. If there are things I can do, I want to hear it. If it's typical and expected that I'll be searching for a couple years, I want to hear it. I'm slowed down in sending out this article, since I feel a need to review these foreign language materials... but I'm going to do that, as efficiently as possible, and get this dissertation condensation article out as soon as possible.
Valued & Useful. I said to my wife this evening, as she stressed over the pressures of work, that yes there are stresses, and it would seem that "upper management" would have been better off to listen to their charges a bit earlier, like last August when they said they needed 6 more people on the job to get things done according to contract schedule. Instead, they dragged their feet, and now are threatening the possibility of mandatory 50-hour weeks. She did work 50 hours this past week. So, yes, she is working hard, and has a great deal of responsibility, and is being asked to sign off on things that she isn't really given enough time with to honestly do that task.
But she is valued and useful. Which, sadly, is not something I can say about myself these days. I'm more like a skin tag that hangs from the neck or nose, which every now and again gets picked at until the host remembers I'm a permanent fixture of their physique. It's not pretty to feel that way.
The more I think about the career, the more depressed I get. There is only one thing for me to do, however, at the moment, and that is to forge ahead. I'm actually doing a bit more though. I've got a lunch meeting with a young professor in my department, just to talk about the academic job search and career path. And I've got a half hour appointment with a career counselor on campus this week as well.
I just need to break the silence. If there are things I can do, I want to hear it. If it's typical and expected that I'll be searching for a couple years, I want to hear it. I'm slowed down in sending out this article, since I feel a need to review these foreign language materials... but I'm going to do that, as efficiently as possible, and get this dissertation condensation article out as soon as possible.
More about alternatives
I wrote a little while ago, that I've begun to consider "alternatives". I recently went to a talk by a PhD in my second field, who has been working as a consultant for several years, and was in part recruiting for her company. I wasn't entirely convinced, but wanted to get more information, so I wrote to her, sending along my CV, a link to my professional webpages, and some other brief information about my background.
Her reply:
First, I'd like to say, "Wow!" You have a most extraordinary background. I would be happy to answer any specific questions you might have about working at [my company], but I think the most important thing to consider for someone with a background as extensive as yours is whether or not you would really be willing to walk away from all of that.
Well, no. "Walk away from all of that"? Who's walking? I'm desperately (I used the word, you see) seeking employment, a meaningful job, where I can use my talents (we all have them, I'm not so special) to accomplish something.
I have little experience with seeking employment. I've been self-employed most of my adult life, hustling for clients and students. And I've been a performer, going from one gig to another audition. I've worked odd jobs, and temp work. It's not that I haven't worked. I've hardly not worked since I was 10 years old with my first paper route. I paid my way through undergrad, and worked part-time while working on my Master's.
It wasn't until 2000, when I started the PhD program that I finally stepped fully into the life of a scholar. Because of a series of fellowships that I applied for and received, I wound up not TAing at all, though I did teach one interdisciplinary course on my own.
I had two years community college teaching prior to that. I have given about 8 conference presentations, including organizing and chairing two panels at international conferences. I have published 5 articles, though admittedly in second-tier journals. I've given invited lectures on my research, and have standing offers for more talks from five institutions in parts of Europe (if I can ever get the funds to head over).
All I need is one job offer, at an institution where I feel I can make a contribution, where I will feel a part of the culture, where I can teach and research, where I respect and admire my colleagues, and they me. Is that too much to ask?
Her reply:
First, I'd like to say, "Wow!" You have a most extraordinary background. I would be happy to answer any specific questions you might have about working at [my company], but I think the most important thing to consider for someone with a background as extensive as yours is whether or not you would really be willing to walk away from all of that.
Well, no. "Walk away from all of that"? Who's walking? I'm desperately (I used the word, you see) seeking employment, a meaningful job, where I can use my talents (we all have them, I'm not so special) to accomplish something.
I have little experience with seeking employment. I've been self-employed most of my adult life, hustling for clients and students. And I've been a performer, going from one gig to another audition. I've worked odd jobs, and temp work. It's not that I haven't worked. I've hardly not worked since I was 10 years old with my first paper route. I paid my way through undergrad, and worked part-time while working on my Master's.
It wasn't until 2000, when I started the PhD program that I finally stepped fully into the life of a scholar. Because of a series of fellowships that I applied for and received, I wound up not TAing at all, though I did teach one interdisciplinary course on my own.
I had two years community college teaching prior to that. I have given about 8 conference presentations, including organizing and chairing two panels at international conferences. I have published 5 articles, though admittedly in second-tier journals. I've given invited lectures on my research, and have standing offers for more talks from five institutions in parts of Europe (if I can ever get the funds to head over).
All I need is one job offer, at an institution where I feel I can make a contribution, where I will feel a part of the culture, where I can teach and research, where I respect and admire my colleagues, and they me. Is that too much to ask?
The essential question is: how can I succeed?
It is unadvisable to compare onself to one's colleagues. But it at times seems unavoidable. Perhaps that's a sign of depression (unhelpful contemplation). I celebrate for others when they reach success. Yet I feel a distinct lack of success in my professional life.
I wonder why others get interviews and offers and jobs. (Yes, I had some interviews, last season; even one campus visit... but no offers, no job.) I wonder how it is so many ABDs go straight into their faculty careers without a break, signing a contract before they've even finished the diss. I have no malice toward them, just envy. What are they doing right, that I haven't figured out? Or is it really as I hear over and over, just a matter of luck, of being the right person for the job. Most importantly, however, is not to focus on them (though I should delight when friends and colleagues succeed), but to forge ahead on a path that will lead to my own success.
No feedback. That is my biggest bane. I tire of hearing from professors I know, who sit on committees at schools where I've applied, who tell me vague things about "positive comments" or "impressed with my credentials." The problem is, I feel stuck, and vagueries will not lead me forth. One of my committee members repeatedly said my dissertation was "brilliant" and "well-written," though he's provided little feedback otherwise. It's not a matter, I don't believe, of noone understanding what I'm about, or what I'm doing in my research.
The fear I have is that to get a job I need to be doing what people are looking for. But I believe my work is innovative and forges in new directions, meaning it may be a generation of scholars before a department is looking for that expertise. The reality is, this is the right path for me. Each of us takes our paths. The trick is to excel at what we do on the way, not simply in choosing a direction. The hope is that along the way, though it may seem a desert, I will reach some oases, and it will seem worth it.
I wonder why others get interviews and offers and jobs. (Yes, I had some interviews, last season; even one campus visit... but no offers, no job.) I wonder how it is so many ABDs go straight into their faculty careers without a break, signing a contract before they've even finished the diss. I have no malice toward them, just envy. What are they doing right, that I haven't figured out? Or is it really as I hear over and over, just a matter of luck, of being the right person for the job. Most importantly, however, is not to focus on them (though I should delight when friends and colleagues succeed), but to forge ahead on a path that will lead to my own success.
No feedback. That is my biggest bane. I tire of hearing from professors I know, who sit on committees at schools where I've applied, who tell me vague things about "positive comments" or "impressed with my credentials." The problem is, I feel stuck, and vagueries will not lead me forth. One of my committee members repeatedly said my dissertation was "brilliant" and "well-written," though he's provided little feedback otherwise. It's not a matter, I don't believe, of noone understanding what I'm about, or what I'm doing in my research.
The fear I have is that to get a job I need to be doing what people are looking for. But I believe my work is innovative and forges in new directions, meaning it may be a generation of scholars before a department is looking for that expertise. The reality is, this is the right path for me. Each of us takes our paths. The trick is to excel at what we do on the way, not simply in choosing a direction. The hope is that along the way, though it may seem a desert, I will reach some oases, and it will seem worth it.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
In the Beginning
3:36 am:
Can't sleep. The three-year-old woke me up around 2:00. He wanted to snuggle. Got back to bed around 2:40... but couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind.
In Chaim Potok's 1975 novel In the Beginning, the narrator's father, a Polish-Jewish emigre to New York City, is struck by a great depression. It is one that is prompted by the events in the outside world, and by his seeming inability to alter them as he was wont to do before. The once powerful and admired figure is reduced to a pitiable has-been. Eventually, he emerges from his cocoon, and once again finds the drive within to rise as a phoenix from the ashes of his life.
I think this is an apt image for many of us casting off our raiments as PhD candidates, achieving that pinnacle of accomplishment, then entering the bleak world of the academic job search. Many perhaps look up to us, just like the father in Potok's novel, but we have difficulty adjusting to the changes in the world around us. I have been in a depression before, of this sort. Every time I have overcome it.
Can't sleep. The three-year-old woke me up around 2:00. He wanted to snuggle. Got back to bed around 2:40... but couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind.
In Chaim Potok's 1975 novel In the Beginning, the narrator's father, a Polish-Jewish emigre to New York City, is struck by a great depression. It is one that is prompted by the events in the outside world, and by his seeming inability to alter them as he was wont to do before. The once powerful and admired figure is reduced to a pitiable has-been. Eventually, he emerges from his cocoon, and once again finds the drive within to rise as a phoenix from the ashes of his life.
I think this is an apt image for many of us casting off our raiments as PhD candidates, achieving that pinnacle of accomplishment, then entering the bleak world of the academic job search. Many perhaps look up to us, just like the father in Potok's novel, but we have difficulty adjusting to the changes in the world around us. I have been in a depression before, of this sort. Every time I have overcome it.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Added drag
Just reading Small Milestones on Acade(me). She writes about her dealing with a mass of foreign language materials that she sorted through. With my renewed drive to get published, I had decided (in part at the urging of the illustrious B*) the easiest first step would be to condense my dissertation and submit it for publication in a journal.
I came to the conclusion that there really wasn't much point in my trying to get the dissertation published as a book in its own right. First, because it already is published with UMI/Proquest; Second, because a book would head off in different directions from the dissertation; Third, because I don't lack for book ideas, which would be more appealing to me, and likely more broadly interesting to a readership.
So, I did a selection from the diss, culling about 300 pages of text down to about 120. (That's not necessarily a fair comparison, since the required formatting of the diss makes the page count look inflated.) But I still need to cut another 2/3 of that. So, I started to edit. The immediate realization I came to is, well, there is some recent scholarship that I ought to include in the article, including a good deal of material that (in hindsight) I probably should have included in my dissertation.
Of course, as I wrote about a week ago (Silence is definitely NOT golden), my committee's lack of commentary was astounding. I suppose if they had done their work, these absences may have been pointed out to me before I filed. Then again, perhaps I'm just being overly critical of the work.
In any case, I feel a need to review these materials, and work through them, to incorporate as much as possible into anything I send out now for publication. Thus my hope to have something to send out this week is being delayed. The stumbling block -- or should I say the added drag on my race car -- is that just about all of these materials are in a foreign language. Granted it's the language that I needed competence in to even do my dissertation. But, my reading speed is significantly slower than in English.
I will have at it nonetheless. Perhaps this process will take me further down the road towards mastery of the langauge, which I would very much like to have anyway.
I came to the conclusion that there really wasn't much point in my trying to get the dissertation published as a book in its own right. First, because it already is published with UMI/Proquest; Second, because a book would head off in different directions from the dissertation; Third, because I don't lack for book ideas, which would be more appealing to me, and likely more broadly interesting to a readership.
So, I did a selection from the diss, culling about 300 pages of text down to about 120. (That's not necessarily a fair comparison, since the required formatting of the diss makes the page count look inflated.) But I still need to cut another 2/3 of that. So, I started to edit. The immediate realization I came to is, well, there is some recent scholarship that I ought to include in the article, including a good deal of material that (in hindsight) I probably should have included in my dissertation.
Of course, as I wrote about a week ago (Silence is definitely NOT golden), my committee's lack of commentary was astounding. I suppose if they had done their work, these absences may have been pointed out to me before I filed. Then again, perhaps I'm just being overly critical of the work.
In any case, I feel a need to review these materials, and work through them, to incorporate as much as possible into anything I send out now for publication. Thus my hope to have something to send out this week is being delayed. The stumbling block -- or should I say the added drag on my race car -- is that just about all of these materials are in a foreign language. Granted it's the language that I needed competence in to even do my dissertation. But, my reading speed is significantly slower than in English.
I will have at it nonetheless. Perhaps this process will take me further down the road towards mastery of the langauge, which I would very much like to have anyway.
Am I keeping up?
Up early again. For those of you curious re: my "new resolution", I packed away one article the first day, read a book the second (which wound up really being a bound volume of a journal with one 75-page article in it). Yesterday was the third day. I read/skimmed several chapters of another book, typed up some notes. So, I'm keeping up.
The bigger deal I think is the new found motivation to write and publish. A few years ago, I gave a talk at a conference, which in the midst of things introduced a novel methodological twist.
... like clockwork, 6:47 am: the boys are both up. Gotta run.
11:40 am:
Finally settled back into my things. Number one has just begun taking gymnastics class on Friday mornings, so I'm with the boys later than usual on Fridays. What I was saying above...
I gave a talk which introduced a novel methodological twist. A colleague asked if I had published it anywhere. No, not yet... The other day at a colloquium in my department, I suggested some things for the speaker which were taken positively. Have you written that up somewhere, she asked. Nope... you get the picture.
It's not that I haven't published. But not much. Not as much as I would like. I think I'm a bit afraid of sending my work out. Part of it is a bit of perfectionism, partly its defensiveness, part it's simply not knowing where to send it. Since my work is interdisciplinary, and touches upon several areas of expertise, I feel a need to present myself as master of all of them. At least, I want to be sure that I've considered all of the obvious points before sending it out, hoping not to receive some reply like: "uh, well, have you read these 23 articles that answer all of your questions?"
I sent an inquiry a couple weeks ago to a journal in a field other than what I got my PhD in. The response was:
Please excuse my tardiness in acknowledging receipt of your mail. As a matter of fact, my colleagues and I are unsure as to how a paper like yours could be accommodated in [our journal]. My sense is that we should not hold out too much hope that we'd receive informed response from a [specialist in our field] who is ready to evaluate the entire paper and urge us to consider it for publication. Needless to say, we appreciate your interest in [our journal].
Not a total brush off. But anything but encouraging. It's just more of the same. I need to change the perception of this work as peripheral. But how can I do that without getting published? So, write write write. I need to submit the articles even if they stand a good chance of being rejected. I've really got nothing to lose.
The bigger deal I think is the new found motivation to write and publish. A few years ago, I gave a talk at a conference, which in the midst of things introduced a novel methodological twist.
... like clockwork, 6:47 am: the boys are both up. Gotta run.
11:40 am:
Finally settled back into my things. Number one has just begun taking gymnastics class on Friday mornings, so I'm with the boys later than usual on Fridays. What I was saying above...
I gave a talk which introduced a novel methodological twist. A colleague asked if I had published it anywhere. No, not yet... The other day at a colloquium in my department, I suggested some things for the speaker which were taken positively. Have you written that up somewhere, she asked. Nope... you get the picture.
It's not that I haven't published. But not much. Not as much as I would like. I think I'm a bit afraid of sending my work out. Part of it is a bit of perfectionism, partly its defensiveness, part it's simply not knowing where to send it. Since my work is interdisciplinary, and touches upon several areas of expertise, I feel a need to present myself as master of all of them. At least, I want to be sure that I've considered all of the obvious points before sending it out, hoping not to receive some reply like: "uh, well, have you read these 23 articles that answer all of your questions?"
I sent an inquiry a couple weeks ago to a journal in a field other than what I got my PhD in. The response was:
Please excuse my tardiness in acknowledging receipt of your mail. As a matter of fact, my colleagues and I are unsure as to how a paper like yours could be accommodated in [our journal]. My sense is that we should not hold out too much hope that we'd receive informed response from a [specialist in our field] who is ready to evaluate the entire paper and urge us to consider it for publication. Needless to say, we appreciate your interest in [our journal].
Not a total brush off. But anything but encouraging. It's just more of the same. I need to change the perception of this work as peripheral. But how can I do that without getting published? So, write write write. I need to submit the articles even if they stand a good chance of being rejected. I've really got nothing to lose.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Up early
Got up around 6:00 am this morning. I'm inspired by my wife. Yesterday and today, she awoke (before dawn) to get into work early. There's a backlog of work there, and some important deadlines coming up. She's got lead responsibility for a program. She had kissed me good-day just a few minutes earlier, but I still missed her. My fault, I forgot to put her coffee on last night before going to bed.
She's being an inspiration to me. It's got to cycle like that. Before we moved here initially, so I could go back to school, she had been miserable in her former job. It wasn't what she had planned or expected of her field. The work left her cold. She was bored. I helped give her perspective, and when the time came, I helped her "escape". We've been through quite a few incarnations since then. And now, suddenly, she's more driven and interested by her work here.
She keeps reminding me how lucky I am, that I have a lot going for me: a wonderful family, a PhD, wit, charm (those are her words!). It is a real blessing to have someone like her as my partner. With all the talk about divorce lately, from some of my blog-friends and other parts of my RL, I want to say it's wonderful to have someone who is truly a partner in my life, to share the ups and downs with. I wish the same on all of you.
6:48 am: Now, I've got to run. The one-year-old is up. Daddy duty calls.
She's being an inspiration to me. It's got to cycle like that. Before we moved here initially, so I could go back to school, she had been miserable in her former job. It wasn't what she had planned or expected of her field. The work left her cold. She was bored. I helped give her perspective, and when the time came, I helped her "escape". We've been through quite a few incarnations since then. And now, suddenly, she's more driven and interested by her work here.
She keeps reminding me how lucky I am, that I have a lot going for me: a wonderful family, a PhD, wit, charm (those are her words!). It is a real blessing to have someone like her as my partner. With all the talk about divorce lately, from some of my blog-friends and other parts of my RL, I want to say it's wonderful to have someone who is truly a partner in my life, to share the ups and downs with. I wish the same on all of you.
6:48 am: Now, I've got to run. The one-year-old is up. Daddy duty calls.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
