Monday, April 02, 2007

So totally over this

Dear Articulate Dad

Your interest in the Assistant Professor of [Field 1/subfield 1] ([subspecialization]) position has been received and reviewed. While you clearly have many talents and gifts to offer to this role, I'm sorry to say that we are currently considering candidates who appear to more closely meet our job match.

Please do not let this discourage you from applying to other positions within the University that you may feel qualified for.

Good luck with your employment search and thank you for considering employment with [University].

Human Resources
Can I just say, my friends, I am feeling so totally over this today. It comes down to remembering who I am.

Another part of the conversation with Rocket over the weekend that I mentioned in an earlier post was an understanding of what I was interested in when I went back to school, what I worked on throughout my doctoral studies, what aspect of my dissertation work most excited me.

The reality is, I have always been interested in [Field 1] & [Field 2] studies, focusing on cognitive and perceptual issues. That is what I was excited about after completing my Master's, and that was what motivated me when I sought to go back to school. I wasn't interested in an existing discipline so much as I was seeking a means to study what excited me. I entered the doctoral program in [Field 1/subfield 1] not because I wanted to remake myself as one of them, but because I wanted to study the work of [Protagonist of my Dissertation]. I did that. Now, I want to use what I've learned.

The biggest change that's going on inside of me just now is a sense that I am in charge again. I'm adopting a new attitude as I move ahead. I'm no longer begging. I'm not on the ground, hoping for crumbs. That means, my thinking is not that these companies will hire me as an employee, or as a consultant, but rather that they have some of the tools that I need, to do the things I wish to do. I want to work with them to help develop the rest of those tools. This is a new attitude for me.

I realize that what I am about to do is risky, but also that none of the things that matter (mostly, my family!) is on the line. So what have I to lose?