Some movements afoot

Sometimes when so much is happening in my life, it is difficult to sort it out enough to write about. And just now, I have little time. I'm heading to the rail station in about a half hour to head to a conference (SOD for those keeping track; yes, I did renew my membership, at least for another year).

I'm not presenting, but thought it would be beneficial to schmooze, rub shoulders, catch up with friends/colleagues.

Yesterday, I watched the boys full-time. The au pair was out of town for the day. It works out fine, since Friday, my usual day with the boys, I'll be at the conference.

Talked with Larry Strope on Tuesday. He had nixed the idea of my coming to visit, thinking it would be simpler to just talk on the phone. He was exceedingly enthusiastic, though he confessed he had no idea how the search would go. It was very encouraging however.

[I sit here listening to the LOUD laughter and giggles and playing of the boys and the au pair in the very next room (her bedroom) as I sit in the family room/office. Very distracting... we'll get to that below]

So, I'll be applying to Larry's center for the faculty post. That's one application sent (deadline was about a month ago, so the silence is not encouraging), and three more to send off in the next month. Two of them I've written about here recently: [Big West Coast Private University] and [Lake View University]. I need to follow up a little more on the other one, read up on their website, research faculty interests and such, call and talk with the chair perhaps, to ascertain just how promising that one really is.

Also, noticed that a school where I was shortlisted for a one-year post two years ago, has the post open now as a tenure-track gig. I haven't seen it posted on any job lists yet, but it appeared on the SOD conference website for interviews. We'll see.

And... I finally decided that I really want an office outside the house. I need to get more productive. I need to get away from the distractions, and I wish to separate my work time from my family time. I think my work will benefit and my relationships with my family will benefit from the separation. The boys will know when I'm around, I'm fair game to play with them. When I'm working, I'll be elsewhere. Also, knowing that I'm spending family money for an office will give me added incentive to make my time there as productive as possible.

I've looked at three offices. All a bit more than I wanted to spend, but all within what we can afford. In fact, because our housing costs are lower here, we'd still be spending less than we did in Paradise even if I took the more expensive of them. Hopefully, I'll have that all worked out by next week.

Meantime, I need to pack up my things and head to the train.

Three deaths

My father taught me years ago to read as if the author intended me as audience, to heed their lessons as if they were teaching me, to embrace them as my friends.

Three of my dear friends, this week, passed away:

William Bright, linguist
Clifford Geertz, anthropologist
William Styron, novelist

May they rest in peace!

Cheaters vs. children

[Parenting post follows]

Frustrating week. Fridays is my day with the boys. I wanted to take them to a large and glorious local botanic gardens. $15 entrance fee for adults (children are free). Decided that I'd like to get a membership. I've found that family memberships for zoos, botanic gardens, science centers, children's museums, are well worth the cost, as they encourage regular visits, and the children enjoy them.

Thing is, we've got an au pair. It's our choice. I prefer having a dedicated caregiver for the boys when we're not watching them, I like the idea of international exchange. But, see, it would seem most of these memberships cover only two adults, and their children. In Paradise, the zoo had a nifty little add-on feature for family memberships to accommodate just this scenario, an extra person who could take the children in the absence of the parents. It was something like an extra $15 or $20 added on to the cost of the membership. GREAT!

But here in Rocket City every place we go they throw up road blocks. I'm sorry, you can only have two adults on the membership. You see... they add in a hushed confidential tone, some people would take advantage of it. They'd try to service two households.

Oh... I think you mean, like, mothers or fathers from separate families couldn't possible claim to be a couple, put their names on the membership cards, and bring their separate children whenever they liked. What a stupid idea!

The people who suffer most by such short-sighted membership policies, and inflexibility, are the children who would otherwise be exposed to a great deal more of what the world has to offer. I bought the $100 basic family membership to the botanic gardens, only to be told that (although they'd make a one-time exception for me) the basic membership doesn't allow "early entry" into the gardens. You have to get the $300 membership if you wish to enter BEFORE NOON! Oh... and the "children's garden" and the buildings with exhibits are all closed until after noon as well. [SIGH].

This means for some memberships, we need to give the au pair one of the membership cards, and have her pretend to be my wife when she goes alone with the boys, and hope they don't require identification. Or, we could simply list me and the au pair as the members, but then, my wife could never take the boys without one of us. Is there really a benefit to forcing families like ours to buy two memberships, if we wish to remain honest?

Dissertation-to-book proposal (draft) complete

Done, done, done! I had written to Tasse Plein last week to elicit his long overdue (but promised) commentary on my dissertation. His remark at the time, after signing off on it, was that he'd have some suggestions for revision should I ever wish to publish it. In that email, I wrote: "If you have specific comments, requests, cautions, or what have you, now would be the time to articulate them." His response was to request a look at my proposal. I sent it to him this morning.

Now, what to do? I've got cleaning, unpacking, and organizing. I want to do some more reading about literary agents for my more commercial book projects. I've got a backlog of articles to read for my longitudinal project, and I've got to start recruiting volunteers for that and gathering data.

In all, I'm feeling good about my work again, motivated, dedicated.

Almost finished

Exhausting. This book proposal is. I think I take a 20 minute break every hour. But I'm almost done. All that remains is my market analysis, then a final editing. I guess this is where it all comes together, where I make explicit the audience for whom I'm writing (as much for my own clarification as for their sakes). What kind of market is there for a book like this? I'm pleased with the changes I've proposed to the content of my dissertation (at least in outline form). This would be work for me, but fun and interesting work, taking the foundation of my dissertation, and the seeds I sowed in my dissertation distillation article, combined with some of my current work, and a sprinkling of work I've written grant applications for. I like the project. Let's hope it gets accepted.

Oh so many things

Hi Larry,

It's been nearly a year since we last wrote. I see now there is an open position in [subfield 1] in the [Field 1] department at Big West Private (in addition to the post at [your center]). I am, as you might have guessed, quite interested, especially if it might permit collaborations with your group.

Do you know anything about the post? Is it a replacement for someone who has retired, or is it entirely new? Are they targeting particular curricular needs, specific courses? Let me know what you can.

Best,
Articulate

Larry Strope is a professor in [Field 1], and director of a research center, at a big west coast private school. He also happens to be the son of Harry Strope, the member of my dissertation committee whom I've mentioned before. We had been in touch before when I had applied for a post-doc at his school last year.

Hi Articulate,

It's great to hear about your interest. We have the one opening in [subfield 1] and are short at least 3 or so faculty after retirements, etc.

I don't have the answers. Usually, we search pretty widely. I'm cc'ing Jasmine Lear so you can be in touch with the committee directly for better information.

Best of luck to you -- it would be great to see work like yours become part of the fabric here. And if you think the [Research Center] post fits better, let me know how that angle suits you.

Yours,
Larry

And, I spoke today for about 20 minutes or so, with a professor at [Lake View U.], the one who served on a panel I organized a conference a couple years back, and who has been quite open and supportive in the past. Let's call him Joe Krowicki. He was the other departmental contact whom I wrote to about the post. He had written back with him home number for me to call and talk.

It was a good conversation, open, honest. This is someone I could trust, a good colleague. In the end, it sounds like there may in fact be two positions open or opening. Joe happens to be chairing the search committee, and weakened the blow a bit from the email I had received from his colleague, saying that yes, they are looking for someone who could teach courses in [subfield 2], but he indicated the specific courses would likely depend on the individual. He spoke as if not to discourage me from applying. He also indicated that, should the second post open up, they'd certainly have more flexibility.

He volunteered quite a bit of information, and was willing to discuss what might be sensitive areas (like for instance why a colleague of ours had failed to get tenure, and had taken a post elsewhere). We also discussed the two-body problem a bit. It's refreshing to talk and listen without minced words.

It's a tough call. LVU is near the Rocket Scientist's family, but the area offers her little in the way of her specialization. LVU would be a great place for me to work. I guess I apply, and we make the decisions when we have them to make. I told Joe that it sounded like I should send them my stuff, that I won't hold my breath, but if there's a job for me to fill at LVU, I'd be delighted to fill it.

As for BWP... that's another one I'll be applying for. There's one more definite after that, and two or three maybes that I still need to research. That makes one down, three to go, then we'll see from there.

Existential Crisis 2.0

First, a little domestic tranquility. What have I been doing with my spare time of late? Yesterday I started a batch of sauerkraut. It's amazingly easy. Basically, you shred up cabbage, and add salt. Uh... yeah, that's about it. Then you have to weight it down a bit to squeeze out the liquid, which combines with the salt to make a brine, and you check it every day or so, to skim off the... well, the stuff that grows on top. After about three weeks, you've got the most delicious tasting sauerkraut you can imagine.

And today... I started four quart jars of kosher garlic-dill pickles. Yum. This is my first time (uh... this decade) making pickles. I'll let you know how they turn out. But I'm pretty optimistic. So, call me weird... well, to be honest, call me Ashkenazi. It's tradition, you know.

These little things bring me great pleasure. There's something about being self-sufficient to an extent, or as Emerson put it self-reliant. I remember a lesson my step-father (er... ex-step-father) taught me years ago. He's a writer, cum college professor of writing. Back then, my folks had an old row house in Baltimore (three stories tall) with a gorgeous old oak banister. Only... it had been painted over, numerous times. For perhaps two years, it was a work-in-progress, being stripped, and stained.

Stepdad's remark was, you know, I realized somewhere along the line that I wanted to be a writer, not a home repairman. It made me rethink my self-reliant posture. But, I've come back to it of late. There is something truly rewarding about doing it yourself, satisfying in a way that paying someone else just can't touch.

And, I like our new home (even if we don't own it). I like it more than our old place in Paradise. I'm enjoying the kitchen, and looking forward to the garden that I will create. I keep thinking about eating out, then opt to cook something at home. That's a good sign.

This afternoon, while driving back from the greengrocer's (where I bought the kirbies for pickling), I got a callback from the national sales manager for Big Academic Publisher. I said that I had called him mainly just to get a better sense of how things stand. His response was essentially: management has decided to keep the post open a bit longer, until January, to expand the pool of candidates. As I interpret it: "we're hoping something better will come along, but we'll keep you in mind."

I kept talking, and listening, however. I was frank in my apprehension, but also clear in my confidence that were it something I chose to do, I'd have utmost confidence in my ability to hone up on the needed knowledge and experience.He clarified a bit that I remain a strong candidate for the post, but that I lack the sales experience in publishing, and that with their present small pool of candidates, they're uncomfortable making a choice.

Like the color of my skin or my gender, there are things I have no control over. I can't fabricate experience I don't have. My question for you is what can I do in the present to allay your concerns? In the end, he suggested that I come to an upcoming conference in the area, where he himself will be representing the firm, so I can get a better sense of that aspect of the job, and so we might be able to meet face to face.

Alright. I could do this. Selling textbooks, while not my first pick in careers, would at least maintain me in education, and wouldn't feel like selling my soul, since we all use textbooks. It's just a matter of which ones. Assuming I do show up at this conference, I'd think my persistence would likely impress them, perhaps enough to garner me an offer. Who knows? But the question remains, what do I want? I keep thinking of my 5-10 year goals. Those remain. How do I get there from here?

I never thought I'd be one to say this, having lived much of my life below the poverty line, but not needing the money, in some ways, is harder than needing it. (At least, it's harder in terms of the present questions I deal with. Trust me, I don't advocate poverty as a lifestyle choice--though, come to think of it, I'm sure there's some researcher out there convinced of finding the poverty gene some day, just to prove it's not a choice after all.) We live comfortably. If my wife retained her career, and I made not a dime for the rest of my life, we might not be able to buy a house again any time soon, but we'd not go hungry or homeless.

In terms of getting a job, I don't really need one. So, what is driving me to it? To some extent, it is the money. In our society, money is the ubiquitous form of applause. I want the validation that comes with someone paying me to be me. Of course, in a way, my wife does that. I cook, she buys the groceries. I'm not materialistic enough to think that's all there is, but neither am I so un-self-aware to think it's irrelevant. With a second income, we'd have that much more to save, or spend, or donate, as we saw fit.

As Pooh would say: Think think think. What do I want? How will what I do today get me closer to that plan for 5-10 years from now? I'll work on it. Monday, it's back to the dissertation-to-book proposal. I'll have to make some decisions about conference abstracts after that. I'll need to decide whether or not to attend this regional conference to meet the national sales manager and whatnot. One thing at a time.

Can I say it again?

Correlation does not constitute causation. This morning, I was greeted with the following article on IHE: Want to Get Ahead? Get Hitched. Why is it that journalists (or, gasp, researchers!) insist on making broad sweeping statements of causality, based on mere correlation? This reminds me of a classic article I read years ago (I'm talking late 70s, perhaps early 80s) in one New York city newspaper which proclaimed: "Calculators Cause Pregnancy!" As I recall it, it was an hilarious lampoon of just this sort of gee willacres, did you ever notice that traffic lights cause accidents?

It's a very pervasive thing, however, and distorts so much of our education, especially of science. No wonder so many people are confused about evolution. No... unless we stipulate an ultimate cause or shall I say Causer we simply can not say things like "ladybugs secrete a foul-tasting liquid through their legs in order to make themselves distasteful to predators". Sorry, that's stipulation, not science. Fine if you believe it, but it's still not science. Let's try: "Interestingly, ladybugs secrete a foul-tasting liquid through their legs, which evidence suggests has had a dampening effect on the desires of predators, likely aiding ladybugs in the goal of species survival."

Sheesh! Again, for the record: Correlation does not constitute Causation.

Trudging through it

"I'm hoping to finish this book proposal today..." [SIGH] Sometimes my optimistic expectations astound even me. Suffice it to say, it ain't done yet. I'm trudging through it. What an exhausting process this is. They ask for so much in the proposal (Statement of aims and rationale for the project; 300-word overall abstract; chapter outline with 500-word chapter abstracts; biographical sketch with "concise CV"; assessment of likely competition and description of the target audience, etc.), then write with sadistic glee that "the proposal should therefore extend to between 2-5 pages".

2-5 Pages!?! In what, 6-point font? That's like asking someone to lecture on the major events regarding Civil Rights in America, from 1933-1968, paying particular heed to the role of women, pointing out areas of convergence and conflict between African, Latino, and Asian populations, making mention of literature, music, and art as protest expressions, and doing this all in 25 minutes, allowing time for questions.

But it's not for me to complain. I want to do this, do it well, get it accepted, then move on. I'm planning some major overhauling of the dissertation, far beyond what I did in the dissertation distillation article: the addition of historical and biographical notes and sketches, to fill in more of the story; and the inclusion of a great deal more translations from original source materials that have never appeared in, let us say, any major world language. That and editing, revising, and reorganizing. All of this, of course, makes a chapter synopsis somewhat more complicated an endeavor than I imagined at first. Better to do it now, however, so I have a to-do list once it's accepted.

Hats off to those of you with book contracts under you belt. Wish me luck.

Beginning to settle

It's been a rough few days, up/down/up/down. The mornings are mostly good. Somehow, when my wife begins to tell me about the young turks at work, fresh out of school with a bachelor's degree, it hits me hard.

But, truth be told, I am where I want to be (except for wishing I had already found that ideal job). I'm not (over)working a post somewhere, teaching classes that don't appeal to me, losing time to meetings and administrivia, that I'd rather spend on reading and research. For that I can be thankful.

The trick is doing what I want to be doing. I've been working on this dissertation-to-book proposal this week. Well, that and getting things set up. Internet at home went online yesterday. Yay! We're planning to vacate the hotel room this weekend. I can't really see keeping it just for the sake of it. I'm comfortable at home, even if a bit more distracted.

I'm hoping to finish this book proposal today, and unpack a few more boxes, set up a few more details of home life (for instance, getting the chimney inspected, so we can finally have a wood fire... ah!). Next week, I'm going to work on some agent contacts regarding my more commercial book ideas (a few children's books: two already written; and a memoir/collection of my dad's poetry/letters between father and son; I also have planned a parents' guide on childhood cognitive development that comes from my research, which I'd like to move ahead with).

I spoke briefly with the regional sales manager for Big Academic Publisher. It's been about a month since I last heard from her, so I thought I'd follow up. "We've kind of put that position on hold for the moment. We're in the heat of conference season. You're definitely still a candidate though. Feel free to check in with me whenever." I had already sent her a couple emails, keeping her informed of my move schedule and interim contact information, to which she hadn't responded, so I can't take that last comment too seriously.

That's real useful: you're definitely still a candidate. It's like the dog turd on the sidewalk that you keep meaning to clean up, but haven't gotten to yet. I think I'll call the national sales manager I interviewed with as well, just to touch base, and see if I can get a better feel for what to expect, what may or may not be in the works, and what their time frame is looking like now. Otherwise, I'll put that possibility to the back of my mind. Not even sure I'll take it, if offered, but I don't like loose strands dangling.

I called the [Field 1] department chair of a local community college, which has a full-time position advertised. The posting was somewhat vague. He clarified it on the phone, and it looks like it would be inappropriate for me. And it's a 5+5 teaching load, ~15 hours of classroom teaching per term. Youch! But, he said he was intrigued by my background and interests, and suggested they might likely have use for me to cover some part-time teaching. I sent him my CV. That'd be nice to pick up some adjuncting. Get me back in front of a classroom! I'm missing it.

Meanwhile, I'm looking over job postings as they come up. My wife and I did a bit of researching on the internet to see which of the current postings that interest me might provide local opportunities for her career as well. We ruled out a few. So far this year, I've applied for one. There remain five more between now and January, that I plan to follow up on. This year, I plan to make phone calls or send emails before applying to any post, to feel out the prospects, and get as good a sense as I can for what they are really seeking. My job as I see it, is to weed out as many weak prospects before applying as I can, which hopefully will make the few I apply for that much stronger.

I mentioned the new post at [Lake View U.]. Yesterday, I wrote to two of my contacts there. I heard back from the first. He was my main contact there when I was applying to their doctoral program. I had known him from SII conferences before then, and have kept in touch since.

Hi Articulate,

We have the [true interdisciplinary field-related workshop] here in the next couple of days so I am up to my eyebrows in details.

I'm glad to talk after that. My clear understanding is that my dean is ONLY interested at this point in folks who are from a [subfield 2] background, so I'm not sure you fit her paradigm. We are talking [details of the sorts of courses], that kind of stuff. Let's talk sometime next week when the dust clears.

Best,

Rod

That confirms my suspicions. Too bad. But it's good to keep up my contacts with them. At present, there are only three universities in The States with programs in [true interdisciplinary subfield], so it's a tight bunch, and it serves me to stay in the loop. In all honesty though, while I'd love a post there, the prospects for my wife's career in the region are slim-to-none unless she moves to a different sort of work, which doesn't seem likely at the moment.

Aesop's fables for an academic

I think of the Tortoise and the Hare. Last night, as my wife was preparing and worrying about today's start of her new job, I said that as much as I hate to admit it, she sometimes intimidates me. Sorry, she said, I don't mean to intimidate you. I explained it's not so much her as her success; that I feel like the hare in the race. Me, with all my ambition, and ideas, and drive, and confidence; she with laissez faire patience. Almost despite ourselves, our careers have recently taken unexpected turns. Slow and steady wins the race.

We were talking Saturday night over dinner (after the boys had gone to bed--sometimes you just have to eat late to have time to talk). I was mulling over my present difficulties with the question: So... what do you do? I asked, So... what do you do? just to see how she might couch it. She replied. Pretty impressive really, and I told her so. She does interesting, important work. That's really pretty neat, I said.

And what do I do? There's the question. I have a PhD in... No, that's not what I do. That's just a thing... a thing I have, a thing I've done. But, it's done already. Should I submit a formal proposal for turning my dissertation into a book? I've been thinking about what I'd do to change it. I probably should. It could be done inside a year, without preventing me from other activities, I'd think. I'll work that proposal up in the next couple weeks. Still settling into everything right now. But I'll find the time. I'm not sure where it will get me. A little academic capital. Not sure where or how I can spend it, unless it helps me get a faculty post, or gives me a leg up on tenure.

What do I do? I research... Do I? Not much lately really. Is that what I want? Is that what I want to do? If so, I need to get back to it. These are the questions. I can't say... I won't say I'm an unemployed college professor. What does that mean? I'm a teacher. Not for a few years now.

What do I do? I'm a father of two wonderful sons. I give talks, and freelance. I write. I work in [Field 1] and [Field 2] studies. Yeah. I really do. Hmm. So many projects. So many directions. Which path to choose... today?

Last night, my wife continued: You have so many wonderful ideas. This has been a hard year for you. I've kept wishing that I could do something about it.

I smiled gently, Yes, but apples in a basket rot for want of a nickel.

You could always start lobbing them at people. If you won't buy my apples, then take that!

Good idea, maybe, huh?

I think you really should write up those new children's book ideas; and try to get a publisher for the ones you've already written; and publish your dad's poetry. It'd be a good break for you, without so much pressure.

Maybe. Maybe. What do I do? See... many people wouldn't even ask that question, wouldn't worry over it. Who are you? Now that's a question people like. But, for me, my career really is important. Not necessarily in the traditional sense. I'm not a career man. But what I do is a major marker of my identity. Life is work.

My mother recounts the tale of me at 3 or 4, attending a Montessouri school in New York City. The big kids went upstairs, while us youngsters remained downstairs. What did they do up there?, I always wondered. Downstairs, I was bored, terribly bored, with the little games they would play, the mind-numbingly simple tasks they would have us do, as if they were challenging.

What's wrong, honey, why are you crying? my parents asked one day as we headed home.

All they do all day long is play play play... and I want to work work work I blustered.

So my mom made me up a Very Important Work Box filled with 1st and 2nd grade readers and math books, so I could get started on that very imporant life work I was going to do. I was happy. I was content. At 10, I took a paper route, getting up at 5:00 to spend an hour tossing papers into yards (or as often as not, falling asleep on my stack of papers, until my mom discovered me there, and taking pity on me, drove me through my rounds). At 11, I was working after school at a barbeque restaurant, carrying in firewood, dicing vegetables for the salad bar. I've never spent so long in my life without a hitching post, either school or a job, and if not a job, then I ran my own business.

This has been the hardest year of my life. I achieved a great, long dream of being a father. Now, two wonderful, challenging, frustrating, delightful boys. I reached a pinnacle with the PhD. Dr. Dad, me. But that wall stares me in the eyes. I feel boxed in. Where do I go from here? Ah, yes, that basket full of apples. I need to start lobbing.

There's a new post at [Lake View U.]. I've written about them before. It was my top pick for graduate school, but they didn't take me. I've applied there for three or four posts. The new posting is in my true subfield within [Field 1], but listed as part of [subfield 2]

Preferred: Candidates able to teach a range of courses in [subfield 2] and whose research interests include [true subfield].

Hmmmph. To be honest, I'm not sure it's a post for me. I'll write to my contacts on the faculty in that program to get a better sense. It'd be close to my inlaws. My wife would like that. But then, there's not really any work for my wife in her area of expertise and interest in that area.

Be a professor? I'm not sure. Oh, I'll apply... for a few jobs. But you never know... maybe them grapes is sour after all.

Transition

I'm blogging from the hotel, but all our stuff is moved into the new house. Most things are unpacked, but there's a heck of a lot of sorting and organizing and rearranging to do. We still have to set up our trash pickup; better do that soon, before our can is full. Need to arrange some sort of internet at home as well. And a phone. But our fridge arrived today, and the stove works fine. We tested it with a frozen pizza.

It's a weird feeling being here. I feel up and down. I like our new home. I'm excited about the new city, and surroundings, about seeking new contacts, and developing the ones I've made. I feel like this is the beginning of something big. I'm just not sure where it will lead. It may be this is the year my patience (I try!) and perseverance pay off, when I finally get a faculty post I'll love. But it just as likely may be the year I decide to hang up those dreams, and strike out in different directions. I'm ambivalent in a way, which is very odd for me. Perhaps it's just the change hitting me at once. Maybe the next couple weeks will iron it all out.

I expect to blog lightly for a while, as I have been the past couple weeks, especially since I don't have internet at home yet, and I'm not sure how much or how long I'll be using the hotel room. Now it's late. I came to get our toiletries, and couple stuffed animals for the boys, then back... home.

Articulate Dad... out.

Ethical considerations

Lately, it's been as if I am undergoing a test of ethical conduct. Here is how it began:

A couple months ago, I deposited a $50 check in an ATM machine at my bank. After swallowing the check, I received the message that the ATM machine was temporarily unable to process deposits. Gee. Thanks. The deposit didn't show up online. I called them to see what could be done. They said they'd look into it. A few days later, I happened to pass by the very branch with the faulty ATM machine, and figured I could just stop in, to check up on things, since they'd likely have opened up the machine to discover the physical copy of the deposited check, even if the machine was unable to register it. I explained that I had already called about it. No, they didn't have any record of the transaction, since the ATM machines are emptied into a bag, and taken by courier somewhere else for processing. A couple weeks later, I received two credits of $50 to my account, in conclusion of their investigation. You know the old Monopoly card Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.

Then, for our 9th wedding anniversary, we decided to order ourselves a new stereo. Being frugal folks with a bent for high quality audio, we went shopping for a top end refurbished item. Sure enough, we ordered ourselves a really nice receiver for just over $300. It was running a little long in coming, so I called to check on status. The online system showed it as "in preparation" with "unknown" delivery date for more than a week. They took my contact info and promised to call me back within 48 hours. It arrived the next day. I received a call back anyhow, and they assured me the unit was on its way and would be expected in the next couple days. It arrived yesterday. Thanks.

About a week and a half later, while we were on our house hunting trip, a second receiver (exactly like the first) was left on our porch for us to discover on our return. We contemplated it for a few days, then I called them up to explain the mishap, and offered to return the extra unit. Thank you very much. I'm taking notes on this. Please use the return label. Most people wouldn't do this. The next day, I set up a pick up with FedEx, to return it.

Today, I received an email:

We have received and processed your refund request. The charge for
the following item has been credited to your account: ...

Sheesh. How hard do you have to work to give something back that doesn't belong to you?

Now, finally, I'm faced with this: when my wife was negotiating with Rocket Central, as regular readers may recall, we inquired as to the possibilities for spousal assistance, to help me land affiliation with their administering institution, or to grant me some start up funding for my research. Nothing doing, they said. We don't offer any sort of spousal assistance.

Nothing for the spouse, but they are okay with providing the entire family up to 45 days of temporary housing, (at a rate of nearly $250 a night!). For those of you following along at home, that comes out to a grand total somewhere north of $10k. WOW! That'd been a nice start up pot. We're in the temporary lodging now, which they've reserved for us for 45 days, even though my wife indicated we'd likely be moving out in less than a week, once everything was delivered, and unpacked, and we'd gotten our appliances set up (believe it or not, we have to buy our own refrigerator, and washer and dryer, since they don't come with the place). Just check out when you're done.

Okay, we've signed our lease and gotten the keys; the movers deliver tomorrow. But... I could sure use an office for a month to get going, now, couldn't I? Of course, $10k could get me a rather posh space for a year or two, I'd imagine. But hey, we don't write the rules. Is it unethical of me to suggest to my wife that, hey, if they'll cover the temp lodging, what's to stop us from keeping it for a month instead of a week, for me to use as an office outside the house, as I get set up in town, and look around for an office of my own? Internets, what do you think?

Many lives lived

My life has been at times a series of episodes, disjunct, remote. Several times in my life my circumstances and motivations have varied enough that it has seemed one life ended, and new one began.

As I embark to leave Paradise likely for the last time, to cut the umbilical cord that ties me to my doctoral institution, to head to a new city, I wonder if this present won't prove to be a border that marks yet another life lived, the end of the old, the start of a new.

I long for the certainty of being on a stable path, of knowing the results to my inquiries. When I ran a landscaping business, I took pleasure in knowing I had recievables yet to come in. Even deliquent accounts brought me some degree of satisfaction, since I expected funds to come in. In ways, awaiting news from article submissions or grant applications is not that different, but the outcomes are less assured.

I've grown weary of the chase. Perhaps the satisfaction I took from a horde of receivables was in direct proportion to my anticipation that they would soon move to the paid column. I need some rabbits in my traps, some berries in my basket, some roots in the cellar. I grow ravenous in waiting. A new life perhaps, with a full stomach to boot.

The next few days

We're sorting and purging. There's a large pile of items we've decided to donate. But we're still going through things. The packers come on Monday, and the loaders fill the truck on Tuesday. It is nice to have others take care of those tasks, but there are ways in which having others move for you is not quite the boon it would otherwise seem. We're trying to take the opportunity of a move to downsize anyhow. The two of us are allergic to waste, which makes it difficult to rid ourselves of otherwise useful items, despite the fact that they've been of no use to us for years.

In any case, it hasn't quite settled in that we're really leaving, that this house for instance will cease to be our home in just a few days. I think I'm looking forward to the change... but I'm not really sure how much of a change it will be, how much it will impact my life, other than finding new places to shop and eat. Energy. That's what I'm really seeking now. Get moved. Get settled. Get going.

It will be a busy few weeks coming up. I've got several conference abstracts to work up, a book proposal to draft, a guest lecture to prepare, and more job applications to attend to. There are two interesting University posts with December deadlines, and a very close full-time tenure-track community college position with a November deadline. More articles to work up and send off. And I am committed to starting data gathering for my [Longitudinal Project] just as soon as I can. There are so many things I could be moving ahead on, if I can only find the energy to pursue them, damn the job market and limbo-induced depression.

Energy, energy! That's all I need.

Final Harvest

Here is the final harvest from my garden. The plants have been stripped, and ripped from the ground. The rebar and chicken wire, the boards (acting as retaining walls), and the stakes have been removed. I expect to buy some grass seed tomorrow, and a bit of hay to serve as shade and cover for the seedlings until they take. Sad to see it go. There will be a new garden for me, I'm sure.

I'm not quite sure where it will be just now. I got the lease for our new place via email, and noted the glaring addendum absolutely no pets. Too bad, I think, they'll either relent or lose us as tenants. We've had cats for over eight years now, longer than we've had children. With us, they will remain. This part of the country, and here alone in my experience (regular readers know how many places I've lived!), security deposits can run the equivalent of two months' (exorbitant) rent or more. Perhaps that was reasonable when rents were lower, but today I'd have to break all the windows, knock down a wall, and set the floor on fire to justify it. Let's put it this way, their security deposit is more than I've ever grossed a month in my life! So, no, if they ask, I'm not willing to grant them an additional pet deposit. We only looked at places which did not prohibit pets in their ads. I think we've got a good chance they won't want to back out now... but the ball's in their court. I'll call the owner in a little while, once I calm down.

The good thing is the move package provides up to 45 days temporary housing. At least we won't go homeless anytime soon. So, we don't need to be desperate. There are options. If not here, and not now, then somewhere, and soon.

**Updated to add:
Good news. We won't be homeless at all. I talked to the son of the owner, who is managing the property, to say we had cats. You have two? Um, no. We have three. The momma cat, and two of her kittens, who are now about eight years old. She's about ten. I'll have to discuss it with my mom. It's her decision. Apparently, she's 82, dependent on the income from the property for her living, and recently had a bad experience with the previous tenants who had dogs. (They were ten year residents, so it's hard to imagine it was such a bad experience!) In any case, the son and daughter-in-law are managing the property, and both seemed to be taken by me, at least convinced by me that they'd be better off sticking with us than starting over. This experience only reinforces my belief that once someone has committed to something, they are loath to reconsider. Good to remember when negotiating a job contract (some day), that you are the best they've got, so you might as well get what you can.

The daughter-in-law called me this evening to say that they told the owner "which is true, that you have one old and dear cat, who is part of the family." What they neglected to tell her was that we also have two of her spawn. "She's not going to come over, and she doesn't see very well anyhow, so you'll be fine." That's what my fifth grade teacher would have called the safe side of lying. Ah well, as long as they know we have three cats, I'm happy. And, the daughter-in-law indicated that we'd be fine setting aside part of the yard as a vegetable garden as well. What more could I ask for?

Readying for the move

We found a place near Rocket City. It's just a tad bit smaller than our place here in Paradise, but will cost us 20% less. There was a humongous house we really liked, with a yard to die for (I mean four or five times the size of our rather sizable yard here). But it was significantly more expensive (though only a little more than our current rent). Just didn't seem to make sense. The street was busy and noisy, and the backyard, while expansive, was overlooked by an apartment complex next door. So, we opted for the nice house, in a wonderful neighborhood. We'll be able to walk to dim sum and sushi, big plusses in this household.

And, while it's a little smaller than our current abode, the layout is slightly better for my working at home. I may still look for a small office/studio space to rent, but I'm somewhat discouraged by the prices I've seen so far. Meantime, I wait to hear back from Big Academic Publisher.

I've begun applying for faculty posts. The first application of the season (to Turf) went out yesterday. Two of my recommenders, Tasse Plein and Jim Lodz independently sent me copies of their recommendation letters, with notes to the effect that I should know how my recommenders write about me. Honestly, the letters brought tears to my eyes. Damn! They think I'm good. Hell! I'd hire me. What is wrong with these committees? Oh well, it did my confidence some good. I was quite pleased to see a good deal of specific mentions regarding my research and teaching and initiatives.

I was a bit discouraged on Monday when I sat down to write my letter for Turf. I was doing some sleuthing about the research and teaching of current faculty, to see how I would fit in. I noticed there is a "visiting lecturer" hired in 2003, who teaches the areas covered in the job posting. Inside candidate. Jim Lodz' history is exactly that. He was lecturer here at the University of Paradise for three years before a tenure-track post was opened. Now, he wasn't a shoe-in, but in the end, he was a known quantity, capable, energetic, and well-liked.

Monday, I couldn't write or edit. Tuesday, I just jumped in and crafted a nice letter, mostly from stratch. I printed it off, worked a little on my CV, then packaged them up and sent them off. The posting requested merely a cover letter, CV, and three letters of recommendation. Harry Strope was the third letter writer. This time, I asked each of them to write specifically for the position, rather than sending file letters from career services. Gratifyingly, they each obliged within a day or two. I'm planning to be much more selective this year. As a result, I won't feel bad about asking for a letter or two each month of the job search. If they can't oblige, I'll send the file letters. So far, there's Turf, and two more coming up in December. I'm looking nearly everyday, but discarding many or most.

For now, I've got move preparations to attend to. I had coffee last week with Pat Crystal, the professor at a research university near Rocket City. He was pleasantly receptive and supportive. He gave me a good sense that I'd be able to work something out on their campus for "hanging my hat" so to speak. Once I get settled, I'll start attending the group's weekly meetings, to learn more about what they're doing, and present some of my ideas. I also need to get moving on recruiting volunteers for my [longitudinal project].

I've got my book proposals to work up and send off to the publisher I've been in touch with. There are a couple more conference abstracts I need to draft in the next month or so. Work is waiting for me. I think of Prof. Me's recent posting and I remember just how lucky I am to be able to pursue my work on my own terms. The grass isn't always greener... it just comes in different shades. But I still await the applause.

House hunting in Rocket City

House hunting.
Many houses visited.
Nothing yet.
Tiring.
Stay tuned.
We'll find something, I'm sure.

Tentative Applause

This from the acquisitions editor at a publisher I recently contacted:

Dear Articulate,

I have now had a chance to read through your book ideas.

I am certainly interested in taking a look at your dissertation. I will also need you to complete one of our proposal questionnaires and send me details of how you intend to revise the dissertation into a book.

Regarding your [longitudinal project], I think this could well be suitable for consideration in our new series, [Series Title]. Could you also complete a proposal questionnaire for this project?

And your follow-up work to your dissertation also sounds like an area that would be suitable for us. Again, if you could complete a questionnaire in order for me to consider further, that would be very helpful.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Inge

Grasping at Straws

This morning, I was feeling particularly down, ungrounded, uncertain, lost. Mel left a rather perceptive comment to my last post, indicating, with the insight of a counselor, that I just might wish to unpack my unspoken attitudes toward a job, as I repeatedly (perhaps unreflectingly) boldfaced it.

What is work? What is a career? What is a job?

The Rocket Scientist and I have dealt with those questions a great deal in terms of her professional choices. Before we moved to Paradise the first time, as I have remarked before, she was rather dissatisfied with the direction of her career. Recently, we had occasion to revisit the changes in her career over the past years, how she has gone from that dissatisfaction to the contentedness of today.

For one thing, her job in Paradise initially provided her a significant pay raise from what she was making before. The group was smaller, as were the projects she worked on, so she felt she had a greater impact on them. And she was quite frequently acknowledged for little success, in the form of modest peer awards, bonuses, or gift certificates. Her superiors were quite generous with their praise and thanks. She felt welcomed and appreciated. Those positives, despite the clear negatives, have made all the difference.

Now, let's turn to my career. I had quite a few successes as a graduate student. Then, CRASH BAM BOOM, I graduated. PhD in five years. Then what? [SIGH] I never expected the wall to hit me. I was used to coasting off my energy and drive, my ideas and spirit. I've wanted to become a college professor, to teach, to research, to publish. I want to inspire young minds, and have an impact on the knowledge and understanding in my areas of interest and expertise.

Sure, I've continued to write and present since I graduated. But without those little rewards, the fellowships, the grants, what I'll call the applause, I remain in a dimly lit hall, rehearsing my lines, reworking the delivery, trying out new entrances or gestures. The hall remains silent. The audience is absent. Dust lifts and falls. I heave a sigh. No one hears it.

What do I want now? There's a question. I hold fast to my dreams and hopes, in the goals of my 5-10 year plan. Can I achieve them? I don't really see why not. But how do I get there? And how do we as a family take the journey together, fostering our joint career paths?

I can of course continue on the path I'm on. Perhaps with patience and perseverance I'll land the sort of job I want at a university. Maybe this season, maybe next. But what do I do in the meantime? I've begun to be more selective in where I'll apply. I'm committed to giving each application the needed effort and energy. New Kid on the Hallway's recent comment makes good sense. I'll hold out the hope that fewer may mean more. But what do I do with this year, or perhaps the next two, as I wait for a tenure-track job to start?

Yes, there are other possibilities. There's the chance that a post-doc at Huricane Magnet U. will come through. But I'm not terribly interested in commuting to the opposite coast. If it were possible to get at least a two year, or ideally three year commitment from them, and assuming my wife could find appropriate work there, that could serve. But that still takes us out a year, at least until she's fulfilled her 12-month promise at Rocket Central. I'm not looking to move the family or commute long distance, for anything less than a good multi-year prospect. So, one years are likely out for me. In this my third year on the market, I've got to set down limits.

But what do I do? I mentioned this contact from Big Academic Publisher. I had coffee with her yesterday, for about an hour or so. She was impressed. Today, I got a call from her boss, who seemed interested to take it to the next stage. I'm ambivalent about it. Yet, it is education-related. I would have the freedom to schedule my time. And the pay is likely good, certainly on a par or better than what I might be offered as an assistant professor. If I were to take such a post, I'd dedicate myself to maintaining a minimum (likely 8-10 hours a week) for my work: my research, my writing, academic job applications, conference presentations.

Could I do that in 10 hours a week? Why not. How much time would I have as a professor, between new preps, and teaching classes, and service tasks, and office hours? Some have advised me to take full advantage of my time, while I remain in this post-doc limbo. But then, I'm not so productive these days. I've had a year to prove that to myself. I'm paralyzed by the many options, depressed by the lack of applause, and the uncertainty that any particular effort will get me closer to my goals. It's not that I'm doing nothing, for sure. But I've always been more productive, better at managing my time and meeting deadlines, when I'm busy.

Am I simply justifying this in my own mind? Perhaps. I'm flattered and pleased by the attention and interest. Even if this is not a career I would have sought, even if this is not a career I could see myself having in three or five years, it's a welcome change from the silent disinterest I've gotten from faculty search committees. Who knows, maybe the boost to my self-esteem, and the added income, would be enough to lift me closer to those 5-10 year goals, making it easier to take some risks a few years out.

It's amazing how easy it is to impress non-academics, how seemingly easy it is to get a job. You schmooze for an hour or so, no job talks to prepare, no mock classes on unfamiliar subjects hoisted on you to test your mettle and ability to conduct research on short notice. Of course, I haven't been offered a job, but they're clearly interested. It may take one or two months for them to pull together an offer, which suits me fine, as it gives me time to think and rethink this. It'd also give me time to settle into a new life and routine in Rocket City, which just might afford me the satisfaction I'm really seeking. In any case, I'm open to the possibility.

But I'm not giving up on seeking a faculty post, not yet.

Life and career choices

Yesterday morning, I got a call from the host mother of another au pair, close friend to our own au pair. She happens to be a regional manager for Big Academic Publisher, and is looking for a sales consultant for the Rocket City area. She knew we were moving there, and thought she'd see if I'd be interested. I sent her my CV, without bothering to rework it into a resumé.

It's not a career I'd ever really considered. I'm curious though. What would it be like for me to take a job, simply a job, related to academia (though perhaps by some lights parasitically so), while I continue to seek a foothold on my professional life. I'm curious to find out what they make. Do you really have to sell your soul to work in sales for textbooks? I'd far rather be the one reading them, and deciding, on the basis of value and quality, and appropriateness for the course, which text to choose. For the moment, however, that choice is not available to me. Of course, in many cases, the text matters less than the teaching. This particular division probably falls within that category, so I certainly (possibly?) wouldn't be doing any harm (a dilemma which my father dealt with at my age when the advertising agency he worked for assigned the task to him of selling sulfa drugs in advance of their ban by the government).

I found an old letter sent to my father a decade ago, from my first trip overseas. For one month of that trip, I had been involved in an international workshop related to my old life as a performer:

Back in [city], where we had the [workshop], I had a dinner with a group of people including the founder and organizer of the whole affair, Dr. Werther (Jerry to me). He explained his philosophy on life, and I heard your voice. He said he thought of Goethe, of his spending more than half a lifetime working on "Faust", and of the lesson of Faust as he saw it. He said Faust was a man who did many bad things, many foolish things - but that the reason Goethe has him saved at the end - is that he woke up every day - and tried - tried to learn something new - throughout his whole life, despite a deal with the devil - he sought to accomplish something, through all his foolishness, most of all, he cared whether or not his life had meaning, and whether or not his life had any effect on the world. Jerry explained how to him what was always most important was that he leave the world a little better than he received it. Jerry said it, but I heard your voice saying it to me 20 years ago.

I think of the recent news about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, and I wonder about my earlier rejection of the notion that one can make their millions first, then do good works. It would seem that the potential really is there, and the legacy that these men (I hesitate to call them "great men") will leave will likely have a longer lasting effect than what I might muster with my high-minded commitment to research and teaching. I can't say I'm ready to sell out, but these thoughts do give me pause.

The Rocket Scientist has suggested that it might be good for me to get a part-time job (the one above is full-time though). It's not so much that we need the money (though we could surely find ways to spend it or save it), but rather that it might help me feel less isolated and less useless if I'm doing something, and interacting with others.

Let's look at the faculty job search. One approach, which I've pretty much held for the past couple years is apply for every reasonably potentially appropriate post. Another tack, suggested in part by my interactions with Martin Chauffeur, by undine's advice, by the comments to my recent post about reworking a base cover letter, and by some recent remarks by Tasse Plein, is to focus merely on those positions that really speak to me, that seem to be seeking Articulate Dad.

I think of a friend of mine, Tom Hula, with a very similar focus to my own, who spent a year or so working for a tech start-up, then about three years working in administration at a university, before being offered a tenure-track job (which in fact he wound up turning down, because it was 1000 miles away from where his wife had a good career), eventually finagled a visiting faculty post at the institution where his wife was employed (when she was offered an attractive post at another institution), which has since been transformed into a tenure-track post.

First off, committees can't fault one for getting a job, while continuing the search. And, in Tom's case, I can't say that he had really maintained an active profile in the meantime. As far as I know, he didn't attend many conferences, give many presentations, submit articles for publication. He had simply stepped away for a time, working a job. Yet he was able to land himself a good situation, when the opportunity arose.

I've mentioned before that in some ways not needing to work is a double-edged sword. It frees me to work on my things... but that freedom itself can be confusing, overwhelming. What would I do, if I didn't need the money, if I didn't need a job? It's an amazingly, unexpectedly, difficult question to answer. I think of the book Money and the Meaning of Life, by the philosopher Jacob Needleman. At one point in the book, he discusses this question, and how the freedom from financial need has at times had devastating effects on individuals, from those who win the lottery, accept a large inheritance, rapidly achieve great success. It's an odd scenario, but one which is real.

I can't say that we are wealthy. But we are comfortable. Most importantly, we live within our means, which are sufficient to provide for all our needs, and a few of our wants. That could change of course. Rather, our income could change. But we've had many years of experience living within our means, which before recently were far more modest than now. And, I could easily take a job to bring in money if we needed it. But I don't fear that we'd have trouble living off far less. I mean, let's get real, we've both been graduate students.

What path to take? What face to present to the world? What voice to direct toward hiring committees? Which jobs to apply for? What to do?

L'shana Tova

L'shana Tova Tikateivu

May I wish all my friends a joyous, healthy, prosperous New Year!

Plans vs. reality

Hearing the remarks from Jim Lodz, reading over the comments to my last posting, and reading over undine's recent post, brings me a step back from the brink. Thinking about another job season is depressing. But I've got to forge ahead in a manner that may prove successful.

Over 50 job applications last year. Does that lead one to suspect I didn't care? Sure I did. I rode the roller coaster up and down so many times, getting excited about a prospect, then crashing down when it fell apart. Not all of them inspired such commitment, I admit, but more than one might suspect, each time, hoping, envisioning myself in that place. My wife suggests perhaps it takes too much out of me to cater letters for each school.

Sure, there were a few I sent a "standard" letter to (ironically, two of the four interviews I've gotten in the past two years, were the results of those letters). But most of the applications took hours of researching the schools, carefully reading the job description and departmental website for cues, drafting a letter that specifically addressed that opportunity. I suspect I should be more targeted, more focused, applying to fewer places this year.

On the other hand, Tasse Plein has said, "apply for everything." Others say, "be sure that this opportunity is the one you want," before applying. The odds are so against us as academic job seekers that it would be foolish to focus all efforts on one or two. Then again, all I need is one job. Just how do I know which one? If I were pretty much assured of getting an interview anywhere I applied, I could apply only to the places that seemed ideal from the outset. But that's not the world I live in.

This is exacerbated by the fact that my work falls between fields; it is in some ways invisible to departments. If a post were advertised that truly spoke to my background, training, and interests, I'd have no problem making the case. But what does a job seeker do, when the task is really to convince departments that what one has to offer, while not outrightly sought, is a good complement to and expansion on departmental offerings?

It's a dilemma. Not quite as simple as search committees might wish it to be. If committees were clear on what they wanted, if consensus were formed before the job announcement went out, perhaps many of us would apply for fewer jobs, and the task of weeding through applications would be easier for them. Then again, why should committees limit themselves in advance of the applications? Why should they stick to preconceived notions of the ideal candidate, before they've seen the diversity of ideas and expertise available? Perhaps they don't. But then, it behooves a job seeker to read between the lines of an announcement, finding the best way to make their case, even if it seems a stretch.

And so, I return to an expectation that many more applications lie before me, that each will take a great deal of effort, that applying for jobs will remain a near full-time job, all the while I seek to find satisfaction in doing just what I'm doing, marking my niche, developing my research, submitting publications, presenting at conferences, and hoping to land myself some part-time teaching that will renew my confidence in the classroom, prepare me for job talks, and keep me honest.

Shades of beige vs. fire

Jim Lodz is a friend and colleague, in [Field 1/subfield 3], perhaps 5 or so years older than me. He was a lecturer when I first met him at the University of Paradise. A few years later, he was hired to fill a tenure-track post in the department, and has since received tenure and a promotion to Associate Professor. He is the new editor of THE big [subfield 3] journal. I've mentioned his advice on this blog before, though without giving him a pseudonym.

Hi Jim,

It's been a while since we've talked. I'll be moving in the next month with my family. Rocket has taken a job at the Rocket Central in Rocket City. I'm still working on my own, seeking post-docs, faculty posts, grants. I've got a few articles under consideration, a few more in the works, a feeler out to [Publisher] re: a couple book ideas.

It would be great to catch up with you over lunch or coffee sometime before I move, if you can find the time. I hope you are doing well. I'd love to hear about all your latest projects and progress. Please let me know if you can spare the time.

Best,

Articulate

Articulate,

I would be happy to meet with you, and to update my letter on our behalf. How about an afternoon coffee this week. Tomorrow at 2, the shop here in [town]?

jl

So, yesterday we met. I had sent him a draft copy of my new base cover letter. The first paragraph of which read:

I seek above all a faculty post in a department where interdisciplinarity is prized, at a university where cross-disciplinary collaborations are the norm; where the intellectual climate, provides sufficient training and appropriate respect for the tried and true techniques of our discipline, while endorsing experimentation with novel or unusual methodologies; where students are encouraged and faculty expected to challenge the assumptions of their own education and background, at times even the foundations of their discipline, to follow compelling questions along the avenues, sometimes straightforward, at other times gardenpath, which these questions themselves indicate.

The second paragraph proceeds to articulate several of my leading questions, which motivate my research, then to say:

I have taken these questions and continue to present them to audiences as diverse as first-year non-majors at a community college and graduate students at my own doctoral institution, scholars at international [Field 1] and [Interdisciplinary Field] conferences, well-heeled patrons of the [Prominent Public Event], and the general listening public of the [radio network where I was interviewed on my research a couple years ago].

The third paragraph discusses my research, dissertation, and background. The fourth begins:

Unabashedly excited by research, I take great pleasure in engaging student's minds with the fires that drive my investigations, ever seeking to emblazon their own questions with these flames; taking [aspects of Field 1] out of the realm of the far distant, and directly into the sometimes familiar, sometimes discomforting, experiences of their own lives.

I proceed to articulate a few more specific questions relative to the courses I would likely teach.

Two more paragraphs follow, which outline my specific accomplishments and experience. I plan a paragraph to discuss my current projects which was merely indicated in the draft, followed by a closing paragraph:

If you believe [Your University Here] to be an appropriate venue for my continued efforts, I would be delighted to discuss the possibilities with you. For more information regarding my interests and activiites, I invite you to peruse my website [PRW's URL]. I thank you for your time and interest, and look forward to hearing from you regarding this opportunity.

He suggested that my research ought to be moved up to the head paragraph, and that I might wish to tone down the "self-praise" as in:

My student evaluations attest to the energy with which I teach. My CV attests further to the drive and discipline with which I pursue my research.

But here, perhaps is the key. His comment in the margin to the opening paragraph, quoted above:

Very aggressive. Too aggressive and puts the reader on the defensive.

This I believe is the crucial matter. During our discussion, he contended that one possible tack, and one which he believes to be most successful, is to appear beige (his word, not mine), like the decor of a modest hotel. Fit in. Blend in. Then try to look a bit different.

I smiled, and drew a pie chart, with one slice missing. I pointed to that absent slice: Do you really think I'd get hired in a department that thinks like this?

In my initial consultation with a career coach a couple months ago (I decided to forego the services for now) he described one of my concerns as a dichotomy between marketing and patience. Do I concentrate on marketing myself to appear like what they want, or do I simply have the patience to wait for what I want?

I told Jim that I felt my letters have become ever more beige during the job search, and that it has garnered me less and less attention. My first full year on the market (two seasons ago, when I was in the midst of finishing and filing the dissertation) I received three calls, and one campus interview. This past year, I received one call (no telephone interview, just an invitation to come to campus) and that for a one-term sabbatical replacement post. My hope in scrapping the old basic form and replacing it with a new one is two-fold: 1) to return to it my true voice; and 2) to present myself as a teacher as well as a researcher.

To some extent it's a question of courage. Do I have the courage to put myself out there, aggressively me, knowing full well that it might turn off quite a few committee members, in the hope that what might emerge is an offer to come and serve fully as the scholar I am? The threat of course, is that it will turn off enough people that I won't make it to a single short list.

What makes a stand-out truly remarkable? What is it about some candidates, or some letters, that prompts committee after committee to invite them to campus? What does it take to excite enough committees to receive multiple offers? What shines so brightly that makes them want you? Or is it really the case that I need to appear as just another shade of beige?

More signs and random bits

Today is our ninth wedding anniversary! What a trip we've had together. Maybe I'll write about that more soon.

We had a nice breakfast date together, sitting outside at our favorite bakery, with breakfast burritos and pastries. Tonight we'll go to a Morrocan restaurant for dinner (if we can get reservations).

The wife called from work to say she'd heard some interesting news. Her boss (the one who urged her to reconsider her decision to remain in Paradise) and another senior engineer put in their notice at work. Rumor is this site will be shut down in the next 60 days. Looks like the timing was just right for her to jump ship.

I'm still in touch with the [Field 3] professor at Hurricane Magnet U., who seems genuinely interested in getting me out there for a post-doc likely dealing with [Field 1 & Field 2] studies, assuming his grants comes through. Apparently, funding decisions will be made in about a month or so.

Did you ever get back to me about your time frame for the postdoc?

Um... what do I say? The truth I guess. I'm flexible, I'm open... but I have a family, and a wife who's starting a new job in three weeks, which will keep her grounded here on the west coast for at least a year, after which time we'd really like to both find work in the same area. The Hurricane Zone is possible for her (though is that really where we want to settle?). Could I commute? Possibly, but only realistically if we work out a creative schedule. Could it wait until next fall? Who knows? Maybe by then I'll have other possibilities. Keeping my options open.

I'm interested in collaborating with him and his team. There's much I could learn, and much I could contribute. Would it work out? I don't know. Are there alternatives to being a full-time on-the-ground post-doc? Maybe. We'll just have to see.

Meantime, I've been working on a completely new base cover letter, returning to my roots, exhibiting my passions, showing my own voice. Thanks to What Now? for the little nudge to push me back to myself. I may, just may, share some of that cover letter with you my readers, but only for a limited time. I'll have a think about that one.

In any case, the game is afoot. Just had a visit a little while ago from the assessor for the movers, who came to record and calculate our worldly possessions to estimate the time needed for the packers and the space needed and weight allowance for the truck. End of next week he head to Rocket City for a house-hunting trip.

Catching Caught up

I've finally zeroed out my bloglines feeds, from a high of over 200 just a week or so ago. I hate falling so far behind on reading my friends, and having to skim through posts. I've been busy, distracted. You all know that I was full-time dad for a couple weeks, which takes a lot of time and energy.

On that note, overheard last night as the Painter was attempting to complete yet another Rush Hour puzzle: Hey everybody! Don't interstract me!

Some tasks to accomplish today. Got this move looming. The job season is quickly emerging. I've got many questions to answer about what kind of jobs I will apply for, how many, how much energy I will put into my applications, whether I will work hard on one principal template for the cover letters, or pour a great deal of time and energy in working up each one. I need to send off requests for updated file recommendation letters.

I've got some more conference abstracts to work up and submit. Need to start sending off articles again. I've got an invited lecture for a class at a small liberal arts college coming up, for which I need to decide what and when. I have to work up subject recruitment materials for my longitudinal study. And I ought to get back to some of my other projects as well.

Rumors at the Chronicle

Here's an interesting article about academic job market rumor mill blogs, posted on the Chronicle of Higher Education website. Discussion?

I've never visited the sites in question. I wonder if there isn't some way that the blogosphere can have a positive impact on this whole process. My wife, aghast, continues to muse at just how many positions in my field failed to be filled last year.

This is not only a shame, it is to my mind a crime. In the corporate world, if a position is opened, it remains open until filled. What harm would be done by continuing a search for a faculty member, filling it in the spring rather than the fall? What ridiculous roadblocks are erected in the way of departments and committees to do just that?

Surely, it is a lot of work to sit on a committee. I know. When I was a graduate student, I sat on one search committee for a senior administrative post, that met weekly (except for a few occasions) for over a year! But we kept meeting.

I can assure you faculty members who lament the difficulties of remaining on a committee, that what the unemployed scholars suffer in waiting is far worse! I frankly can't believe or understand that out of 90 or 100 or 186 applicants, it is impossible to find just one who is suitable, who is capable, to fill the position. Perhaps it is not so much a failing of the candidates, as one of the committees, of departmental expectations, of entrenched full professors unwilling to compromise, unable to accept the novelty of new research directions, or the untested interests of junior scholars.

Does it make any sense in the twisted world of academia to risk the loss of so many young, promising scholars, who simply will not or cannot remain on the job market for yet another year? What a waste of genuine talent. There must be a way. It's a matter of courage and commitment on the part of committees, departments, and administrators to find it. That is all.

Well, lookie here

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
[Field 1] Department

The Department of [Field 1] at [Big East Private] University seeks to appoint a scholar of exceptional ability and achievement in original research, publication, and teaching. The position is at the rank of Assistant Professor and the appointment will commence September 1, 2007, pending budgetary and administrative approval. Preference will be given to expertise in [Subfield 3], although a fundamental requirement of the position will be the ability to work across disciplines. ...we are seeking someone dedicated to working with scholars in all these fields. The position involves teaching and advising at both the undergraduate and graduate levels.

Please send a cover letter, detailed CV, and three letters of recommendation with the application and mail to: [BEP] [Field 1] Search Committee, c/o Tasse Plein, Chair, Department of [Field 1], [Big East Private University]...

[SIGH] Much to think about here. Do I need to decode and deconstruct the advice I've been getting lately? I sent the announcement to my wife, when I saw it. She asks, "what are you thinking"? I replied:

What am I thinking?.... hmmm. One thing's for certain: I'd have a tough time NOT applying. That said, I think I'd need to work hard on making my letter stand out as something entirely different! Tasse knows me, and my best guess is he'll recuse himself from any decisions (at least unless there is strong interest in my application). But, he's been giving me a lot of advice lately about how most positions would not permit the sort of research I'm interested in doing, knowing full well, I suspect, that I would come across this posting.

Think also about his advice regarding Turf. See, this would be my third application to BEP in three years. What am I thinking? I don't know, Rocket. I really don't know.

Updated to add:

Hi Tasse,

Is this a new post, or a reopening of the position from last year? Are there specific courses that are being targeted to be taught?

Best,

Articulate

Dear Articulate:

Same job as last year. We didn't fill it. We're looking for members of the intellectual community more than someone to teach specific courses. It's always a long shot, but there's no reason not to send in an application. I'm not on the committee.

Cheers,

Tasse

White ash

White ash covered the grass, yesterday. The car was veiled by a film. The plants in my garden held flakes on their leaves. The sun shone an odd tint of orange, like mid-afternoon or early morning, though the shadows moved throughout the day. The air was laced with tiny dots, rising and falling, floating and swirling. I coughed and wheezed a bit.

A forest fire some distance away had taken to decorating my world. I feel like a flake of ash today, coasting, slowly on the currents, like a jellyfish, casually, occasionally pumping my beautiful bell, not really designed for locomotion, not truly able to influence my path.

I read BrightStar's recent post. I'm feeling oddly serene about this all. We have a move ahead of us. Everything is being arranged. We'll take a house-hunting trip the end of this month. The movers will come ideally sometime in the first or second week of October. I need to find an office, and get set up.

I'm not feeling terribly confident about finding a faculty post this year. But I'm beginning to settle with the idea that, barring that, I can just head off on my own. Dr. Dad, PhD. I've got ideas. Why wallow in the misery induced by faculty search committees without the vision to see what I'm worth? And why allow their lack of vision to muddy my own. I can see clearly. (Hothouse Flowers' song is not yet my own, but I'm getting there). It's just up to me to see the right horizon and head directly for it.

New/old focus?

Hi Tasse,

Do you know anyone at Turf? They have an open post in [Field 1] once again. If I apply, this will make my fourth such application to them in three years. I'd very much like to make contact with someone there who can tell me just what they're really seeking. Their job announcement is vague almost to the point of being meaningless. ("Specialization in [vaguely-defined subarea] desirable. We seek a creative scholar with broad interests, exceptional promise, and a strong commitment to teaching historical and cultural studies in an imaginative and compelling manner.") I suspect, despite the vagueness of the announcement, that they really have a sense of what they're seeking, which might help me decide if it would be worth applying once again.

Let me know,
Articulate

Dear Articulate:

There are two schools of thought, and I'm afraid the best I can do is outline them. The first is that since you've already applied three times and haven't gotten so much as a nibble, nothing is going to change, and it isn't worth applying. The second is that since there is no cost at all to applying, you have absolutely nothing to lose, though probably not much to gain. In the end it is a psychological question: if you can apply without too much expectation and without being done damage by their rejection, there is no reason not to apply and, considering the stakes, it will be worth applying even if there's only a one in a thousand chance of the desired outcome.

As always, I'm glad to write on your behalf.

Cheers,
Tasse

Thanks, Tasse,

I'll decide one way or the other in the next couple weeks. Meantime, I'm working on "the notion that you are perfectly happy doing what you are doing, and that while you'd consider their job, you don't need it" as you put it in a letter last month.

We'll be moving in about a month to the Rocket City area, where the Rocket Scientist takes up her new job at Rocket Central October 16. I'm looking to rent myself a small office or studio space to finally get some solitude for working. This year has been working out of the house (with the boys and other distractions to attend to) or working in the [Field 2] department computer lab (with all the graduate student chatter as distraction). Neither terribly conducive to concentrated work.

I'm going to get started on my [Longitudinal Project] once we get settled, I make contacts and recruit volunteers. I need to find [description of subjects]. We'll see how it goes. I've got some feelers out for post-docs as well. Karl-Heinz Schmidt who runs a neuroimaging lab specializing on [area related to my research] at Big Top East has agreed to sponsor me for a [granting agency] individual grant, which I plan to submit in April. There's also some interest in getting me to come down to Hurricane Magnet University to work with Stewart Small and his group (also involved with [Field 1], [Field 2], and brain sciences). My PRW website is attracting a good deal of attention, about 10-20 visitors a day. Every few weeks, I get an email from someone with a question, or to announce another conference of interest.

Also, working on some book ideas (I made initial contact with [Publisher]), and submitting articles and conference abstracts around. It's disappointing that the faculty job search has been a dead end so far, but I'm an unrepentant [Field 1] & [Field 2] scholar, and damn it, that's what I hope to remain. If I have to strike out on my own, and figure out ways to get published, and funded, then I'm committed to doing that. Meantime, I'll keep plugging away at applications, keeping my expectations and anticipations in check.

Will I see you at SOD in [Location]?

Best,
Articulate

Keeping in mind of course that many, if not most jobs you will get make the kind of engaged, experimental and exciting research all but impossible...

Cheers,
Tasse

Well then, I should work hardest on developing my own research niche, especially publishing and presenting it to as wide an audience as I can, finding as great a degree of satisfaction in that domain as possible. Then apply for jobs in the hope that one day some department will realize that yes, I'd make a great addition to their program. For the time being, Rocket is willing and able to support the family, which is indeed a great relief. Would I like to bring in some income? Of course. But it's good to know I don't need to.

It is a question of ego, as you've said before, and one of energy. It's far easier to produce for the applause of an enthusiastic audience than for the silence of expectation, especially when my work could (and does) lead in many directions at once. I fear to tread too far down one avenue, that I might lose sight of the others. But, life is adventure. Getting lost is part of the journey.

Your comments, engagement, and encouragement are a great source of comfort to me. Thank you.

Yours,
Articulate

Dear Articulate:

Thanks, but I didn't say you shouldn't think about money. You should be framing your ideas so that you can apply for grants, possibly multi-year grants either in the sciences OR the humanities, OR in some initiative that is designed to bring the two together.

Keep up the great work,
Tasse

Bane of the interdisciplinary

Re: the [Field 2] conference submission I sent in beginning of last month:

Dear Articulate Dad,

We regret to inform you that we cannot accept your presentation for the [Field 2 Society] workshop to be held in [Place, Date]. As we received many more papers than we can fit into our schedule, we had to reject those papers that were less close to the core topic of the workshop.

As your topic is really interesting in a general [sub-area] perspective, however, we would like to ask you whether you would be ready to stand in if some other talk will be cancelled. According to our experience, there is a greater than 50% chance that at least one talk will be cancelled before the beginning of the workshop. Please let us know whether you would be interested in replacing one of the other presenters should the situation arise.

With kind regards,

[The organizers]

Um... yeah, sure. I would just hope to receive notice in time to get a decent airfare. At least it's positive feedback, if roundabout in a way. But this is what I hear so often: That's fascinating... it's not the right fit for us, but really interesting work. [SIGH]

It's alright. Feedback like this I can handle. It means there's an audience out there, if only I can find a way to target them. I think I'll try to submit another article this coming week. And I've got two more conference abstracts to prepare soon as well. Both of them in the UK.

My wife asks why all the interesting conferences are in Europe. Maybe it's a sign, eh? Got to work out the budget, but I think this year calls for going for broke. If mountains don't move for me, maybe I'll just have to move to the mountains. But that's a decision to be made when the time comes.

***Updated to add***

Dear Sven & Colleagues,

Yes that sounds fine to me. I'd be pleased for the opportunity to come to the workshop, even if "through the back door" as an alternate. I'm glad there is interest in my work, even if it strays a bit from the focus of the workshop. Please let me know if the opportunity arises, so I can make travel plans to attend.

Best regards,
Articulate