Friday, September 01, 2006

Am I famous yet?

Here are the stats from my PRW.

Last 7 days:

Page Loads Unique Visitors First Time Visitors Returning Visitors
Total 241 132 123 9
Average 30 17 15 1

Last month:

Page Loads Unique Visitors First Time Visitors Returning Visitors
Total 695 391 365 26
Average 22 13 12 1

At least I know people are reading me, and more and more. While this week and next will be difficult for me to accomplish much of substance (since I'm watching the boys full-time from about 8:00-6:00, it should be a good opportunity for me to think about things, which is always good.

Reading over WhatNow?'s recent commentary about writing, I get to thinking about who I am as a scholar. In many ways, her scrap-writing approach appeals to me. I am in essence a synthesist; I'm most productive, most energetic, and most excited, when drawing disparate realms of thought together, finding links, and making new. As much as I hate to admit it (especially now as a new job season is upon us, and my greatest need at the moment is to market myself), I'm not the best fitter-in.

Perhaps this comes in part from my life-long self-identity as a member of a minority group, and one defined not by my outward appearance as much as by my inner beliefs and thoughts. I am not a fully-integrated part of this greater society. I'm not like most others. As I was growing up, my theme-song was Edgar Allan Poe's poem Alone:
From childhood's hours,
I have not been as others were,
I have not seen as others saw...
A bit romantic for a teenager, a bit self-indulgent these days perhaps. But those were the thoughts that formed me. Where it leads me today is a self-awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. I wish to work in ways that exploit those strengths, yet diminish the weaknesses.

The Rocket Scientist and I, and the boys, are staying here in Paradise for now, at least until we have a compelling reason to leave, which most likely means an opportunity for both of us to work meaningfully in our chosen fields, within an hour's drive of each other.

The greatest difficulty for me now (and perhaps a persistent one in my life) is that I tend to lurch in many directions. As you can imagine, a step here, two steps there, turn around, step somewhere else, is not exactly the best tack for getting anywhere. Just as my wife with this recent career choice, I've been waiting for a sign of sorts that one direction, one particular path is the one I should take. There are no signs (other than the one I posted here a few months ago).

Goal for this coming season: Tread more firmly. Take more steps to test the direction. Fear not. Time is long. I've got ideas. I simply must trust them... and force myself to promulgate them. That means follow-through!

1 comment:

Lilian said...

(I'm starting my catching up "game" now. I know I read some of September's posts, but I decided to go back to the beginning of the month not to miss anything).

Sometimes I feel I don't know which path to take either. That's one of the problems when we're in an interdisciplinary area (I am too, although not as much as you are).