Today: Van wouldn't start. Someone (it wasn't me) left the rear lights on, for two days! The battery was dead. Half the day gone with getting it charged. Okay, not terrible. Just annoying.
Yesterday: 3:00 meeting with... the owner of our house (old, infirm, dementia issues) and her daughter (she has a daughter? I thought we were dealing with her son and daughter-in-law.). A-yup. I had gotten an odd call on Tuesday, as I was driving to teach my guest lecture, from the realtor who had served as the rental agent (but who explained that he was not to serve as property manager). He asked if I'd be around to meet with them the following day. Um... yeah, I guess. Don't worry, it's nothing about you... just... something happened on their end, with their family. Oh... well, that sure put my mind at ease.
Turns out there is a domestic dispute between the son and daughter, involving lawyers, bank accounts, wills, and powers of attorney. The mother is caught in the middle, as unfortunately are we. I signed an amendment to the lease, indicating that I should mail my checks to a different address. Oh well, it's not my family... I pay my bills, and hope that they'll get to the right parties.
Tomorrow: My wife turns 35! I ordered her a $100 gift certificate for Victoria's Secret that she doesn't know about yet. When she gets home from work, I will whisk her off for a half hour drive to a nice little French bistro, followed by a play.
We need to get out more. She deserves it. I think I do too. I need a break... a pause from all the worries. I need to stop and figure out where I'm going, how I'm getting there, and why. Okay, part of this is the trouble with waiting. I've sent off applications; now I just sit it out, if or until I hear back. But I need to not just be waiting. I need to chart a course (flexible enough to take detours) and head off.
I'm beginning to do that. My wife is a wonderful co-pilot. Happy birthday to her!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
A "Thank you!"
Hi Articulate,This will happen, right? All of this effort and energy, commitment and drive will lead somewhere, won't it? I mean, I'm not a schmuck. I'm not lost in a classroom. I'm not without ideas for research. I will get a suitable job, right? There will be a happy ending, yes?
Just wanted to say thank you again for coming all the way to Lemon University and giving such a wonderful talk. The students were interested and enjoyed it. You're a terrific speaker--enthusiastic and upbeat and positive, good at keeping students' attention. And the subject was really really interesting. Several students commented today on how interested they were in what you talked about.
So, thank you! I hope you're around next year and we can do the same thing.
Oh, and don't forget to send me your resume. I've talked to a couple of people already and I'd upgrade the moderate to good chance I mentioned last night to a pretty good chance of a part-time gig for next academic year, if you're around and interested. There are 2 faculty members, the admin director (you met him) and the dean to convince. I've got one of the faculty and the admin director convinced. I think I can convince the other faculty. I'm not sure about the dean, but I'll do my best.
Take care,
Sara
Revise and resubmit?
Word is in from the [Field 1/subfield 2] journal.
The review cycle is now complete.Alright then. The comments are abundantly helpful. There's no formal "revise and resubmit" mechanism, but the editor encouraged me to consider them again. It's really good to get feedback, to feel a part of the academic community again. Considering this was a slightly revised version of a term paper I wrote four or five years ago, I can't feel that bad. As I wrote back then:
I have attached three files: the letter of decision and two reader's reports. Unfortunately, the readers recommend we do not publish the submission in its current form.
I can't say I have a high confidence level that the article will be accepted without major revisions, but I wanted to get something out there. Hopefully, I'll get some good feedback even if it is rejected. And, with a little luck, I'll get a "revise and resubmit" order, giving me some drive to move ahead.I guess I've gotten that now.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Oh, for a classroom of my own
It went well, really well. It felt so good to be in front of students again, to be talking about something I'm passionate about. 7:00-9:30, then nearly an hour of talking and questions afterwards.
My friend whose class it was was quite pleased, hoping that I'll come back next year. Looks like the two positions open are not really appropriate for me. But she indicated that she'd think there's a good prospect to hire me as an adjunct next year (if I'm still around and available).
It felt really good to be teaching again. The students' interest and her praise renew a bit of my confidence. I told my friend that I miss the classroom. She said it misses me too.
My friend whose class it was was quite pleased, hoping that I'll come back next year. Looks like the two positions open are not really appropriate for me. But she indicated that she'd think there's a good prospect to hire me as an adjunct next year (if I'm still around and available).
It felt really good to be teaching again. The students' interest and her praise renew a bit of my confidence. I told my friend that I miss the classroom. She said it misses me too.
This is what the office is for
One hour 50 minutes left before I drive. The floor of my office is strewn with articles and notes, and slides from previous talks. I've made good progress today. I think I'll be well prepared for this class tonight. It's a three hour class. That's a lot of time. What makes it harder is that the subject of my talk is [Field 1 & Field 2 studies]. You ever realize how hard it is to narrow down a topic that you've spent so many years expanding? From that standpoint, three hours should be fine. It's not like a conference paper, which you have to distill to 20 minutes. That said, it still feels like there is so much I could talk about. Figuring out how the many pieces fit together into one cohesive whole, and deciding which parts to just cast off, is the hard part.
I like deadlines, because they give me something concrete to work towards. But, as you can gather from my current state, I'm out of practice preparing for a class. There's the sense that the longer it's been since I've taught a class, the higher my expectations are for this one. It also helps that my friend for whose class I'm teaching happens to be co-chairing a search committee for two posts in [Field 1/subfield 2] at her school this year. Now do you understand why I'm a bit nervous, and still working on this thing just hours before the class? The application deadline is in January. I'll be having dinner with her before class, so maybe I'll broach the subject if it seems appropriate.
Meantime, there is a class full of students who are expecting to hear wisdom and enlightenment from me. Let's hope I don't fail to inspire them.
I like deadlines, because they give me something concrete to work towards. But, as you can gather from my current state, I'm out of practice preparing for a class. There's the sense that the longer it's been since I've taught a class, the higher my expectations are for this one. It also helps that my friend for whose class I'm teaching happens to be co-chairing a search committee for two posts in [Field 1/subfield 2] at her school this year. Now do you understand why I'm a bit nervous, and still working on this thing just hours before the class? The application deadline is in January. I'll be having dinner with her before class, so maybe I'll broach the subject if it seems appropriate.
Meantime, there is a class full of students who are expecting to hear wisdom and enlightenment from me. Let's hope I don't fail to inspire them.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Nail biting
Hmmm... now where is that FAQ? When am I supposed to hear about that grant?
Yeah, I know... forget it. It's been since May... I've forgotten, only to remember again. Nail biting time. Notification one way or the other will come soon enough.Award notices
Applicants will be notified of the result of their application by letter in early December 2006.
Other things, other things... distractions. Oh yeah, but this is my distraction from working on my lecture notes. Not very helpful, I'd say.
[SIGH]
...and another thing
I just took a big step. I spent the past hour crafting a letter, exporting to .pdf, then I clicked [send].
It was a letter to a literary agent specializing in juvenilia, regarding two children's books I've written.
I'm supposed to be finishing up my lecture notes for my talk tomorrow. I've worked on them. Still a couple more hours of work today, then most of a day tomorrow. I'm not worried. I needed to take a step, move ahead on another one of my paths.
I'm standing at a crossroads, surveying the many choices that lie ahead. I realize that I can turn around, or try a tributary path any time I like. They're my legs; I can direct them. But it sure feels good to know it.
It was a letter to a literary agent specializing in juvenilia, regarding two children's books I've written.
I'm supposed to be finishing up my lecture notes for my talk tomorrow. I've worked on them. Still a couple more hours of work today, then most of a day tomorrow. I'm not worried. I needed to take a step, move ahead on another one of my paths.
I'm standing at a crossroads, surveying the many choices that lie ahead. I realize that I can turn around, or try a tributary path any time I like. They're my legs; I can direct them. But it sure feels good to know it.
It's cold, and I wander
Not much of a headline for most of you, I'm sure. But it's really cold in here. Apparently, neither the heat nor the air conditioning work in my office building. Not much of a concern most of the time. But, it's somewhere south of 60°F in my office here, and my fingers are stiff on the keyboard. It's grey and rainy outside. I'm half expecting to see my breath. I'll need to bring a space heater in here. Don't get me wrong, I still love having an office.
Not that it solves all my "issues". I've got to work out just what to do with my life. I'd have thought that at 38, I'd have worked that out, know my path, walking firmly. Ah well. I'm happy in many ways. A wonderful wife, two marvelous boys (plans to have a third child, just as soon as we can work out the timing).
Actually, I've made my decisions. I know what I'm working on. It's the uncertainties that bother me. I'm still applying for faculty gigs. Not too many, not too few. Fifteen so far this season. My to-do list is nearly finished for 2006. I've got to finish my lecture notes for tomorrow's guest talk of 3 hours. And I've got one more conference abstract to prepare. I have six more (potential) job applications for January on my beginning of 2007 to-do list.
But what's it all about? I'm feeling closer and closer to the decision that this will be my last full-out academic job search. (I waffle, I know... but I'm not running for office; I'm just trying to get my life in order). Either I get a post this year, or I may just give up on that track. I'm working hard to stay busy, to keep writing. The more I send out, not only job applications, but book proposals, and articles, and grant proposals, and conference abstracts, the more I'm doing, the less I need the faculty job. (Who knows, perhaps when I've given up worrying about it, a job will fall in my lap). But I've got to not need it.
I wonder about continuing to present in conferences, and submit articles to academic journals. Are they just to keep my foot in the academic door? For now, I keep it up. Ah, but there is so much to do, so many ideas. I need to let myself out. Too much energy has been spent on this path with no payback, no rewards. I've got to find my way.
Not that it solves all my "issues". I've got to work out just what to do with my life. I'd have thought that at 38, I'd have worked that out, know my path, walking firmly. Ah well. I'm happy in many ways. A wonderful wife, two marvelous boys (plans to have a third child, just as soon as we can work out the timing).
Actually, I've made my decisions. I know what I'm working on. It's the uncertainties that bother me. I'm still applying for faculty gigs. Not too many, not too few. Fifteen so far this season. My to-do list is nearly finished for 2006. I've got to finish my lecture notes for tomorrow's guest talk of 3 hours. And I've got one more conference abstract to prepare. I have six more (potential) job applications for January on my beginning of 2007 to-do list.
But what's it all about? I'm feeling closer and closer to the decision that this will be my last full-out academic job search. (I waffle, I know... but I'm not running for office; I'm just trying to get my life in order). Either I get a post this year, or I may just give up on that track. I'm working hard to stay busy, to keep writing. The more I send out, not only job applications, but book proposals, and articles, and grant proposals, and conference abstracts, the more I'm doing, the less I need the faculty job. (Who knows, perhaps when I've given up worrying about it, a job will fall in my lap). But I've got to not need it.
I wonder about continuing to present in conferences, and submit articles to academic journals. Are they just to keep my foot in the academic door? For now, I keep it up. Ah, but there is so much to do, so many ideas. I need to let myself out. Too much energy has been spent on this path with no payback, no rewards. I've got to find my way.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Crazy, sure, but good
The family's visit is almost over. No big flare ups. Too bad we only had my nephew for a few hours around dinner then bedtime, and a couple hours in the morning. But it's good to see him anyhow. He's four months younger than the Painter. It's nice for the cousins to know each other.
Middle Brother has spent more time with the family than I can remember for a long time. Oldest Brother... well, he's out on a blind date tonight. He got paid yesterday. So... he went out to buy some new clothes (Macy's), and got his car washed. Yeah! Really. I think it tells you something about his priorities, that he needs to borrow $100 to visit family, but suddenly finds who knows ($80-100 or more) rather than thinking ahead and bringing some nice clothes from home, and say, washing his car by hand! Any way... it's his life. I didn't really lend him the $100... I took it from the cash in our joint account, the remains of my father's "estate".
The three cousins got along fairly well (as did I and my two older brothers). My mother and Middle Brother depart tomorrow by plane. We'll give them a ride in and chance the traffic. Oldest Brother, who knows? Don't know when he'll get back tonight.
But, the turkey was good (Julia Child's deconstructed turkey recipe, modified of course). The stuffing, and mashed potatoes, the sauerkraut, and orange cranberries, the home baked rolls, all went over well. Tonight I made homemade bagels for tomorrow's breakfast. They're GOOD! Let's hope this year brings more of the successes we all seek, but even if life is all the same in a year, there is much to be thankful for.
Middle Brother has spent more time with the family than I can remember for a long time. Oldest Brother... well, he's out on a blind date tonight. He got paid yesterday. So... he went out to buy some new clothes (Macy's), and got his car washed. Yeah! Really. I think it tells you something about his priorities, that he needs to borrow $100 to visit family, but suddenly finds who knows ($80-100 or more) rather than thinking ahead and bringing some nice clothes from home, and say, washing his car by hand! Any way... it's his life. I didn't really lend him the $100... I took it from the cash in our joint account, the remains of my father's "estate".
The three cousins got along fairly well (as did I and my two older brothers). My mother and Middle Brother depart tomorrow by plane. We'll give them a ride in and chance the traffic. Oldest Brother, who knows? Don't know when he'll get back tonight.
But, the turkey was good (Julia Child's deconstructed turkey recipe, modified of course). The stuffing, and mashed potatoes, the sauerkraut, and orange cranberries, the home baked rolls, all went over well. Tonight I made homemade bagels for tomorrow's breakfast. They're GOOD! Let's hope this year brings more of the successes we all seek, but even if life is all the same in a year, there is much to be thankful for.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Family time
My mother is here. The Painter is acting up a blue streak. Ah well. The Inventor is cute and showing off his words. Middle Brother arrives tomorrow by plane. We'll ask him to take a bus from the airport. It'll be quicker and easier. Oldest Brother is expected to arrive with Nephew late in the afternoon. Found out last night that indeed we'll all be gathering on Thursday rather than Friday.
See... Oldest Brother is still negotiating custody issues with Mother of His Son (otherwise known as Bitch from Hell) - pardon the French... I abhor her. Until last night we had been expecting to delay our meal until Friday, since they had verbally agreed to switch years. But since she was unwilling to make any concessions to permit it, he pulled in the big card, and decided to just stick with the letter of their custody agreement. It's his year, and if she wanted to have him with her family, it'd have to be on Friday. So we have 24 hours (minus the six hour drive) with Nephew.
My family. We bought the ticket for Middle Brother since he works for peanuts, and would not have been able to come otherwise. For Oldest Brother we merely had to shell over $100 "for gas and food". He doesn't work for peanuts. Rather he makes six figures these days. But somehow, he's always broke. Old debts and child support, and ... well you figure it out. I've given up trying, several thousand dollars of "loans" ago.
But, we'll all be gathering under one roof, to share turkey and sauerkraut, potatoes and soup. It's my family, for what it's worth. And I love them all. So, we'll eat too much, and sit around a fire, and laugh and cry. Then we'll part our ways until another time.
See... Oldest Brother is still negotiating custody issues with Mother of His Son (otherwise known as Bitch from Hell) - pardon the French... I abhor her. Until last night we had been expecting to delay our meal until Friday, since they had verbally agreed to switch years. But since she was unwilling to make any concessions to permit it, he pulled in the big card, and decided to just stick with the letter of their custody agreement. It's his year, and if she wanted to have him with her family, it'd have to be on Friday. So we have 24 hours (minus the six hour drive) with Nephew.
My family. We bought the ticket for Middle Brother since he works for peanuts, and would not have been able to come otherwise. For Oldest Brother we merely had to shell over $100 "for gas and food". He doesn't work for peanuts. Rather he makes six figures these days. But somehow, he's always broke. Old debts and child support, and ... well you figure it out. I've given up trying, several thousand dollars of "loans" ago.
But, we'll all be gathering under one roof, to share turkey and sauerkraut, potatoes and soup. It's my family, for what it's worth. And I love them all. So, we'll eat too much, and sit around a fire, and laugh and cry. Then we'll part our ways until another time.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Office Internet
In... On... Good. :)
Talked this morning with the manager of a large office in my building. I'd been reading their wireless signal, but needed a password to get into their network. He was friendly, and completely unconcerned. I got the password, entered the network, and as far as I can see, I'm in, and I'm on for the foreseeable future. Like that.
Saves me nearly $100/month over getting my own DSL set up here. And, it gets me connected.
Okay, enough of that. Now I need to get productive.
Talked this morning with the manager of a large office in my building. I'd been reading their wireless signal, but needed a password to get into their network. He was friendly, and completely unconcerned. I got the password, entered the network, and as far as I can see, I'm in, and I'm on for the foreseeable future. Like that.
Saves me nearly $100/month over getting my own DSL set up here. And, it gets me connected.
Okay, enough of that. Now I need to get productive.
Feeling quiet
Just not feeling like writing much here these days. Of course, not having internet at my office is part of it. I've been consumed these past few days with job applications. 14 so far for the season. I've got one more in the works, December 15 deadline, which I should be able to knock off today.
There remain only two scheduled items on my to-do list before the end of the year: 1) class notes for my guest lecture next week (I've got a rough outline worked up. I should be able to knock that off today as well, or by tomorrow mid-day in any case, since I've got to quit by 3:00 today.); and 2) one more conference abstract due December 15.
I'm still home at the moment, since I needed internet. I'll be heading to my office soon.
I've got 6 more potential job postings to apply for with January deadlines. Otherwise, I'll be working on my book manuscript. I'm hoping to have the middle two sections (out of four) completed by the end of February, with the outside sections completed by June. I don't have a contract yet, but I'm pretty confident on that count.
I also haven't heard official work from the [Field 1/subfield 2] journal regarding my article submission, but I hope to hear by the end of the week. It would be good to add that to my CV, but I'm not holding my breath. There's yet much more in me to send out; not too worried about any single item.
The other items remaining on my to-do list (without deadlines) include: finally starting data collection on my [Longitudinal Project]; and finding a literary agent for my children's books and the memoir about my father. These will be done by the end of the year.
I commit this one more season to applying for faculty posts. I can not say what this year will bring. Fruit, in any case. I'm sure of that. I simply don't know of what sort. This time next year, will I be a newly minted junior faculty member? Will I have a post-doc? Will I still be in my office next to the Trader Joe's, typing away on my projects, writing my books and articles, analyzing my data, updating and expanding my websites?
Will the Rocket Scientist "find her legs" and get settled into work at Rocket Central? Last evening she said:
There remain only two scheduled items on my to-do list before the end of the year: 1) class notes for my guest lecture next week (I've got a rough outline worked up. I should be able to knock that off today as well, or by tomorrow mid-day in any case, since I've got to quit by 3:00 today.); and 2) one more conference abstract due December 15.
I'm still home at the moment, since I needed internet. I'll be heading to my office soon.
I've got 6 more potential job postings to apply for with January deadlines. Otherwise, I'll be working on my book manuscript. I'm hoping to have the middle two sections (out of four) completed by the end of February, with the outside sections completed by June. I don't have a contract yet, but I'm pretty confident on that count.
I also haven't heard official work from the [Field 1/subfield 2] journal regarding my article submission, but I hope to hear by the end of the week. It would be good to add that to my CV, but I'm not holding my breath. There's yet much more in me to send out; not too worried about any single item.
The other items remaining on my to-do list (without deadlines) include: finally starting data collection on my [Longitudinal Project]; and finding a literary agent for my children's books and the memoir about my father. These will be done by the end of the year.
I commit this one more season to applying for faculty posts. I can not say what this year will bring. Fruit, in any case. I'm sure of that. I simply don't know of what sort. This time next year, will I be a newly minted junior faculty member? Will I have a post-doc? Will I still be in my office next to the Trader Joe's, typing away on my projects, writing my books and articles, analyzing my data, updating and expanding my websites?
Will the Rocket Scientist "find her legs" and get settled into work at Rocket Central? Last evening she said:
Maybe we should just save our money and move to Mexico or the Czech Republic.No, she's not ready to disappear (nor for that matter am I, quite). But she has yet to feel fully involved at her new job. It's a bigger pond, and she's a smaller fish. And lately I've just been a fish without water, gasping the air which I can not breath, wanting lungs, and feet to move about. I'm tired of flopping. I realize at least half of circumstance is self-induced. I've got much to think about.
Excuse me? Be careful what you wish for!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
A glimmer of hope
I'm thrilled for my friend Trillwing for landing a job. Perhaps this is a glimmer of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Today I knocked off three more job applications. I've got five more, another conference abstract, and a guest lecture to prepare in the next week. My mother arrives for Thanksgiving on Tuesday. My brothers arrive Thursday. It will be a busy week.
Tonight the Rocket Scientist and I head out for a night at an amusement park. Let go, let go. That's all I really want to do. God I hate still being here, still applying for jobs. As much I still get excited about the possibilities, it's far less than I used to get excited.
I saw a friend at the conference a couple weeks ago who finally after about three years of adjuncting landed himself a t-t job. The advice he gave was to not get excited about them, to not think about the possibilities, not imagine living in the place. Just submit the materials then forget it. I can't do that... I really can't. Partly, it's me. But partly it's simply where we are in life as a family. I've got to consider how my family would make it work, or not. No point in going through the motions for a job that from the outset I don't think I'd want or be able to take. But there are still many which might work.
There are several good prospects for me this season. I'm still hopeful, but my confidence has taken a major hit from all this time out. Worst of all, I realize that all my friends who've eventually gotten jobs spent their limbo time as adjuncts, a status which bizarre as it may sound I envy, because I've not been able to land myself any teaching these past two years. Perhaps it's simply circumstance, but it's hard not to doubt. Tell me, my friends, are there others out there who've gone years with only research to sustain them? Have they gotten jobs in the end?
But, no self-pity. This is my path. I've got an office now. My work is laid out before me. I have lectures and conference talks to prepare. I've got articles to submit, books to write. For now, I will continue to chronicle my life here, as I continue to hold on to that hope.
Today I knocked off three more job applications. I've got five more, another conference abstract, and a guest lecture to prepare in the next week. My mother arrives for Thanksgiving on Tuesday. My brothers arrive Thursday. It will be a busy week.
Tonight the Rocket Scientist and I head out for a night at an amusement park. Let go, let go. That's all I really want to do. God I hate still being here, still applying for jobs. As much I still get excited about the possibilities, it's far less than I used to get excited.
I saw a friend at the conference a couple weeks ago who finally after about three years of adjuncting landed himself a t-t job. The advice he gave was to not get excited about them, to not think about the possibilities, not imagine living in the place. Just submit the materials then forget it. I can't do that... I really can't. Partly, it's me. But partly it's simply where we are in life as a family. I've got to consider how my family would make it work, or not. No point in going through the motions for a job that from the outset I don't think I'd want or be able to take. But there are still many which might work.
There are several good prospects for me this season. I'm still hopeful, but my confidence has taken a major hit from all this time out. Worst of all, I realize that all my friends who've eventually gotten jobs spent their limbo time as adjuncts, a status which bizarre as it may sound I envy, because I've not been able to land myself any teaching these past two years. Perhaps it's simply circumstance, but it's hard not to doubt. Tell me, my friends, are there others out there who've gone years with only research to sustain them? Have they gotten jobs in the end?
But, no self-pity. This is my path. I've got an office now. My work is laid out before me. I have lectures and conference talks to prepare. I've got articles to submit, books to write. For now, I will continue to chronicle my life here, as I continue to hold on to that hope.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Brief office update
Yesterday, I moved into my new office. It's about 160 sq. ft. Can I just say... I'm in heaven. I still have to get used to having a space all to myself, without the distractions of my boys, and the myriad temptations of home. I have a lot of work to get done. This is one of those make or break it opportunities. I still haven't worked out internet access at my office, but I'm working on it. In any case, I think this office will be a great boon to my productivity, and will help me separate my work from my home life.
Yesterday was one of those short-lived celebrations however. I rode my bike over in the morning, and plugged away on one of these conference abstracts. I finished it before noon, and headed to the Trader Joe's (right next door to my building!) to get some lunch. There I received a desperate call from the au pair. Apparently, the Painter was having one of those days, and she was at her wit's end. I told her to pack the boys in the van, and come get me. This is the first time this has happened, so I'll forgive her the occasion. I spent the rest of the taking care of the boys, and having a good time, giving her a break to recover.
This morning, I worked (at home) on a job application, since I haven't brought the printer to the office yet, and because I was using the internet. I packed up my large file cabinet, and toted that over to the office in the afternoon, where I spent only a couple hours setting things up and reading, before heading back home (since I had promised the Painter that I would bring him to swimming lessons myself today). The au pair has agreed to give me back a half day tomorrow, so I'll get about four hours there then.
I should sleep now. Once I get internet all worked out, I hope to be back to regular postings again. Looking forward.
Yesterday was one of those short-lived celebrations however. I rode my bike over in the morning, and plugged away on one of these conference abstracts. I finished it before noon, and headed to the Trader Joe's (right next door to my building!) to get some lunch. There I received a desperate call from the au pair. Apparently, the Painter was having one of those days, and she was at her wit's end. I told her to pack the boys in the van, and come get me. This is the first time this has happened, so I'll forgive her the occasion. I spent the rest of the taking care of the boys, and having a good time, giving her a break to recover.
This morning, I worked (at home) on a job application, since I haven't brought the printer to the office yet, and because I was using the internet. I packed up my large file cabinet, and toted that over to the office in the afternoon, where I spent only a couple hours setting things up and reading, before heading back home (since I had promised the Painter that I would bring him to swimming lessons myself today). The au pair has agreed to give me back a half day tomorrow, so I'll get about four hours there then.
I should sleep now. Once I get internet all worked out, I hope to be back to regular postings again. Looking forward.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Difficulty concentrating
Sometimes the closer I get, the more I fear an end. The primary task for today is drafting up the abstract for this [Field 1 & Field 2 conference] in the UK next Spring. The paper I have in mind is a methodological one, arguing for a return of sorts to an older methodology, while exploiting today's technologies.
I've got 300 words to make a case for a radical shift in thinking (or rather, the inclusion of a methodology which has been somewhat out of favor since the 1950s). I wish to appeal to historical arguments and the authority of well-respected (though perhaps out of the mainstream) contemporary researchers in a variety of fields, citing their appeals to the authority of well-respected scholars from a century ago, all in an effort to justify the approach to research which I wish to spend my career focusing on.
I do not lack faith in the strength of my arguments. I truly believe that this approach to the subject is both necessary and complementary to existing approaches. But I fear that my arguments will be seen as wanting, that the abstract will not be accepted, that I will remain in this post-doctoral limbo, unable to give voice to the work which lies bubbling up underneath my surface.
A few weeks ago, I wrote here that I was making some pickles. I sealed them in jars, along with their brine and spices. Last week, when I opened them up, the chemical reaction was quite a treat to watch, each jar overflowing with bubbles, finally released. The eruptions lasted for minutes. Amazing. I feel like a jar of brine pickles, lid securely fastened, waiting, like a genie in a lamp, for that little nudge to release my promise, to spew forth the fruits of my labors.
Perhaps the dissertation was the last eruption, somewhat subdued, long in preparation, but short-lived in the end. I mull and steep, knowing the forces within, but wondering if the jar will be unsealed while they still simmer, or if the organic chemistry will lose its force, mysteriously fizzling out when that time comes.
I've got 300 words to make a case for a radical shift in thinking (or rather, the inclusion of a methodology which has been somewhat out of favor since the 1950s). I wish to appeal to historical arguments and the authority of well-respected (though perhaps out of the mainstream) contemporary researchers in a variety of fields, citing their appeals to the authority of well-respected scholars from a century ago, all in an effort to justify the approach to research which I wish to spend my career focusing on.
I do not lack faith in the strength of my arguments. I truly believe that this approach to the subject is both necessary and complementary to existing approaches. But I fear that my arguments will be seen as wanting, that the abstract will not be accepted, that I will remain in this post-doctoral limbo, unable to give voice to the work which lies bubbling up underneath my surface.
A few weeks ago, I wrote here that I was making some pickles. I sealed them in jars, along with their brine and spices. Last week, when I opened them up, the chemical reaction was quite a treat to watch, each jar overflowing with bubbles, finally released. The eruptions lasted for minutes. Amazing. I feel like a jar of brine pickles, lid securely fastened, waiting, like a genie in a lamp, for that little nudge to release my promise, to spew forth the fruits of my labors.
Perhaps the dissertation was the last eruption, somewhat subdued, long in preparation, but short-lived in the end. I mull and steep, knowing the forces within, but wondering if the jar will be unsealed while they still simmer, or if the organic chemistry will lose its force, mysteriously fizzling out when that time comes.
Monday, November 13, 2006
One more down
Knocked off the job application today, for the Canadian post with a Wednesday deadline. Submitted via email. Haven't heard back from Tasse Plein since the conference, so I have no idea when or if he'll be sending the requested recommendation letters. I don't like to do this generally but I asked that his file letter (which is now more than a year old) be sent along with the other two (which have just been updated in the past month) from my doctoral institution dossier. They charge $5 per application, which isn't much, but adds up over time. In any case, they may likely end up with two letters from Tasse, but that beats the alternative of them receiving only two, and putting my application aside for lack of completeness. Since the deadline was so short, as it is they'll be receiving the letters a week or so after my cover letter and CV. The deadline isn't hard and fast, as it's posted as "or until filled". But I wanted to at least get them my materials ASAP.
I took some of BPG's advice. I broke out three paragraphs from my cover letter, and created a free-standing add-on to my CV called "Current Research Projects & Teaching Interests". As the latter part of that title suggests, I added a fourth paragraph on my teaching interests which begins:
One thing that Big Presence Guy asked at the conference was whether or not I had been short-listed anywhere. Yes, I have. Well, that's a good sign. That's the rubric that tells you someone is hireable. That's a good thing for me to keep in mind. I'm not sure of the corollary though. If you haven't been shortlisted, does that necessarily mean you won't make the cut? It seems so arbitrary at times. But, for those of us grasping for straws... any stray blade of grass for hope will do.
I'm feeling pretty good about this job season right now. There are quite a few postings that are more up my alley than last year seemed to offer. In any case, I'm committed to at least one more season of applications. I'm trying to find that right tone, the right voice to speak for me in that silent shuffle of papers that cross a committee member's desk.
But I'm not holding my breath. As of tomorrow or Wednesday, I'll have that office of my own. Discovered today however that setting up internet would cost me quite a bit more than I had bargained for (twice what I had been quoted last week, before signing a lease). Too much for my blood at this moment. I'll hope that someone in the building has an unsecured wireless, or that I can find a T-Mobile Hotspot somewhere near by. Worst case, I'll just get used to getting my internet fix at home in the mornings before heading out, or in the afternoons after returning. I'm excited about the prospects, even though I'm not yet sure how I'll use the office. One thing's for certain, I've got a darn good reason to become more productive, and I plan to use it.
I took some of BPG's advice. I broke out three paragraphs from my cover letter, and created a free-standing add-on to my CV called "Current Research Projects & Teaching Interests". As the latter part of that title suggests, I added a fourth paragraph on my teaching interests which begins:
While research is central to the work I do, so is teaching. I believe the two are complementary enterprises, enriching and strengthening each other. As a scholar, I find teaching demands I keep practical matters and relevance in the forefront of my inquiries. As a teacher, research provides me incomparable opportunities to test my own and other's theories, and to enliven my lectures with points of immediate and direct comparison to sometimes remote topics under discussion. Courses I am prepared to teach include:...I'm doing all I can, that's about all I can say. I can't make myself any less of a researcher. It's too much of my identity. But I can work hard to allay any concerns committee's might have regarding whether I'm a good or enthusiastic teacher as well. All I need is a few more open doors. I blew it the past couple years. I've had a total of four calls, resulting in two campus interviews. But I didn't make the cut after those campus visits. The first one was real close I know, as I think I've blogged before, since at least two of my recommenders spent about an hour each on the phone with the committee after my visit. But, as the old saying goes: almost only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades.
One thing that Big Presence Guy asked at the conference was whether or not I had been short-listed anywhere. Yes, I have. Well, that's a good sign. That's the rubric that tells you someone is hireable. That's a good thing for me to keep in mind. I'm not sure of the corollary though. If you haven't been shortlisted, does that necessarily mean you won't make the cut? It seems so arbitrary at times. But, for those of us grasping for straws... any stray blade of grass for hope will do.
I'm feeling pretty good about this job season right now. There are quite a few postings that are more up my alley than last year seemed to offer. In any case, I'm committed to at least one more season of applications. I'm trying to find that right tone, the right voice to speak for me in that silent shuffle of papers that cross a committee member's desk.
But I'm not holding my breath. As of tomorrow or Wednesday, I'll have that office of my own. Discovered today however that setting up internet would cost me quite a bit more than I had bargained for (twice what I had been quoted last week, before signing a lease). Too much for my blood at this moment. I'll hope that someone in the building has an unsecured wireless, or that I can find a T-Mobile Hotspot somewhere near by. Worst case, I'll just get used to getting my internet fix at home in the mornings before heading out, or in the afternoons after returning. I'm excited about the prospects, even though I'm not yet sure how I'll use the office. One thing's for certain, I've got a darn good reason to become more productive, and I plan to use it.
Bane with an antidote
Remember my "bane of the interdisciplinary" post a couple months ago? Here's the update:
I've booked a flight, made hotel reservations, and sent confirmation of my planned attendance. I'm pretty psyched. I've presented for [Field 2] audiences before, but this is my first [Field 2] conference, and the subfield that is the focus of this conference is right up my research alley. What I will be presenting crosses the disciplinary boundaries, presents some of my dissertation work, some of my more recent work following up on that and pointing toward fruitful cross-disciplinary forays.
Today, I need to complete a job application for a Canadian university which sounds really promising. Next, I need to draft up an abstract (due by Friday) for a conference essentially on [Field 1 & Field 2 studies]! Yup, there's an upcoming conference that I really don't want to miss. I may have posted about it before. It's the first of two conferences I was contacted about by the organizers asking me to post their call on my PRW. Abstract deadline for the second is in a month. I've got about 10 more job applications to submit, and a guest lecture (~2.5 hours) to prepare before that one. Work is good. Having deadlines for presentations helps to motivate me.
And, I signed a 9-month lease this morning for an office space all my own. I insisted on no more than 9 months, so I'd be pretty much on the academic calendar. I should get the keys on tomorrow or Wednesday. They painted on Friday, and new carpeting will go in today or tomorrow. I'm going to get a small desk and chair, bring over a file cabinet and a small two-drawer chest from home, and probably buy a small bookcase as well. This should be good.
Dear Articulate,
After one talk has been withdrawn, we are pleased to be able to offer you the free slot (20 min. talk + 10 min. discussion) at the [subfield] workshop to be held at the [Field 2 conference]. Could you please let us know whether you are willing to attend the workshop and present your paper?
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.
With kind regards,
The Organizers
I've booked a flight, made hotel reservations, and sent confirmation of my planned attendance. I'm pretty psyched. I've presented for [Field 2] audiences before, but this is my first [Field 2] conference, and the subfield that is the focus of this conference is right up my research alley. What I will be presenting crosses the disciplinary boundaries, presents some of my dissertation work, some of my more recent work following up on that and pointing toward fruitful cross-disciplinary forays.
Today, I need to complete a job application for a Canadian university which sounds really promising. Next, I need to draft up an abstract (due by Friday) for a conference essentially on [Field 1 & Field 2 studies]! Yup, there's an upcoming conference that I really don't want to miss. I may have posted about it before. It's the first of two conferences I was contacted about by the organizers asking me to post their call on my PRW. Abstract deadline for the second is in a month. I've got about 10 more job applications to submit, and a guest lecture (~2.5 hours) to prepare before that one. Work is good. Having deadlines for presentations helps to motivate me.
And, I signed a 9-month lease this morning for an office space all my own. I insisted on no more than 9 months, so I'd be pretty much on the academic calendar. I should get the keys on tomorrow or Wednesday. They painted on Friday, and new carpeting will go in today or tomorrow. I'm going to get a small desk and chair, bring over a file cabinet and a small two-drawer chest from home, and probably buy a small bookcase as well. This should be good.
Some unveiling of the rules
At the conference last week, I ran into a fellow who looked just too familiar. I asked if he had been a graduate student at the university I completed my undergraduate studies. Sure enough, only he hadn't been the TA I thought he was. But he was there during my time there. He's a large man with a very large presence; the kind of person who walks into a room, and everyone notices. He exudes a welcoming and approachable air. We'll call him Big Presence Guy.
So, I approached him, and we talked. He must have asked something about my current status, which led to a discussion of the job search. He's now a tenured Associate Prof at a mid-sized school in the West. He seemed eager to play the role of mentor; and I was just as content to be the patient. He offered to look over my CV and cover letters and such, and give me his feedback. I welcomed the offer. He sent me an email last week, to be sure I had his contact info. I replied with a copy of my CV, a recent cover letter, and an invitation for him to visit my PRW (Personal Research Website).
Here is the bulk of his reply:
So, I approached him, and we talked. He must have asked something about my current status, which led to a discussion of the job search. He's now a tenured Associate Prof at a mid-sized school in the West. He seemed eager to play the role of mentor; and I was just as content to be the patient. He offered to look over my CV and cover letters and such, and give me his feedback. I welcomed the offer. He sent me an email last week, to be sure I had his contact info. I replied with a copy of my CV, a recent cover letter, and an invitation for him to visit my PRW (Personal Research Website).
Here is the bulk of his reply:
Articulate:
I've had a bit of time now to look over the material, and it is all very impressive. Really, I don't have too many "critiques", per se--you seem to have things covered very well. Just a couple of observations, which may reflect my own personal preferences quite as much as any objective perspective.
(1) The cover letter is very impressive, but I think that the detailed material describing your research interests, research activities, and areas of expertise might better be included in a "Summary of Research Interests" or something similar, as a single-sheet add-in to your CV. I typically will include a "Bio" page, separate from the collated CV; this "Summary" could be the same.
My rule of thumb is always to say (1) "in what situations and for what purposes by what persons will this application and its constituent parts be reviewed?" and (2) "what do those persons want to see clearly, immediately, readily, and conveniently?"
For me, this typically translates in the following dicta:
(a) Make sure each constituent element is clearly labeled in common parlance: if it's a cover letter, make it a single-page cover letter that begins "Dear [Selection Committee][Chair][Professor X]." If it's a "Summary of Research Interests," include a separate sheet, so labeled. Don't confuse the committee by making them wade through six dense paragraphs about your research when the primary function of the cover letter is simply to say "this is who I am and that is the post I am interested in." If you feel it is important to include detail about your research interests (and I would not say that was mistaken), include it in a separate constituent which can be put aside while they read other materials.
(b) Make sure each constituent element is handy, portable, and convenient. Visualize the situation in which the material will be reviewed: once (if you're lucky) by each individual committee member, sitting at her/his desk, skimming quickly through each constituent and mentally checking a list to make sure all portions are present; and a second time (if you're lucky) by the committee, seated together around a conference table, passing materials from hand-to-hand. You want to emphasize a physical format for your materials that facilitates and streamlines both these processes.
Typically, that means that items which are free-standing should be grouped together (obviously), and that, if possible, you should have more separate single-sheet items than large agglomerated items. Obviously, the CV will be multi-page (and stapled or clipped), but the cover letter, the "Brief Bio," and the "Summary of Research Interests" should, all, ideally, be brief, to the point, clearly labeled, separate, and single-sheet (or, if multi-sheet, stapled/clipped).
(2) The detail, scope, and rigor of your research is very impressive--but it is not (in most cases) the reason an institution will hire you. Typically, schools hire *senior* professors (already-tenured, associate or full rank) for their research profiles, and "junior" professors (adjunct, visiting, assistant) for (a) their ability to carry the requisite teaching load for the post and (b) their *promise* for future research. The typical committee will be much more interested in "can this person cover the load of the person departing, and perhaps bring some new/additional skills to the table?" rather than "does this person have the most impressive bibliography of work in her/his specialization?"
So I might suggest re-tailoring both your cover letter and the physical format of your CV to address what is, from an outside perspective, a comparatively small ratio of "meat & potatoes" [Field 1/subfield 1] courses to courses in your specialization [Field 2 & Interdisciplinary Field]. The committee wants to feel confident that you are (a) experienced and (b) skillful at teaching the core classes; that is what pays their credit hours and your salary.
If it happens that you don't have extensive experience at such meat & potatoes courses, do two things:
(a) address this directly in your cover letter, articulating that while you "realize that the CV shows relatively little work in mainstream course-teaching, [I] am very interested in teaching such topics and very ready to develop interesting, effective, and challenging syllabi on them", and
(b) get some experience doing it: community college, prep school, etc. 90% of the institutions in the world are not hiring research specialists: they are hiring team players who can handle mainstream courses while *also* pursuing interesting and marketable research (I know, it's not fair, but that in my observation is how it works).
(3) [PRW] is very impressive: clean, challenging, evidence of initiative and ongoing original research. I would consider two modifications in how you present the site in your application:
(a) Make more of an emphasis upon it in the physical application package. Put this, and a description of its significance, in your cover letter, in place of the lengthy research narrative. Point to it in your email .sig file, and encourage committee members (in the letter or in your email exchanges) to visit the site.
(b) You might consider building a separate html page on the site, specifically a "Welcome to Senior Faculty" or something similar, which provides a summary, statement of purpose, and explication of the significance both of your research and of the site's applicability. Point the committee to this summary page, rather than simply to the home page. Just visiting the site at its root home page does not really convey to a mainstream academic answers to what [Distinguished Professor in Field 1] calls the "so what?" and "who cares?" questions. I'm sure you have very articulate ways of answering those questions: put thoses responses in a special page and point committee members there first.
Please understand that I offer the above not because of major problems in the package--I don't see any such. But these observations may possibly help you step "outside" the materials a bit and consider the above small re-conceptualizations.
good luck.
BPG
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Whirlwind update
The conference ended on Sunday. This week, I've had to deal with two car accidents (TWO!). Our car was hit by a passing SUV while parked outside our house, about a week ago, crushing the entire driver's side of the vehicle. Their insurance company has yet to respond to any of our inquiries, despite our sending numerous emails and voice mails to the party assigned as adjuster. Then, yesterday, our au pair hit another vehicle in a parking lot, while taking the Painter to swim lessons. [SIGH] But, you know what... these little things help put life in perspective. We've all got our health, a roof over our heads, and relative peace. The cars simply aren't that important.
Otherwise, I've been occupied with trying to shore up a lease for an office or studio for working outside the house. I'm still looking at different ones, as I've yet to sign anything, but I'm hoping tomorrow or Friday it will be done. And, I've sent off three job applications, prepared two others, and gotten started on four more. A-yup! I renewed my membership to the professional society that has most of the listings in my [Field 1], and discovered that more than a few had been slipping past my other resources. The Rocket Scientist and I spent a good part of Monday and Tuesday nights weeding through the postings, and checking on opportunities for her in those areas.
I realized, after talking with Tasse Plein that while I appreciate his advice, I've got to make decisions for my life, my career, and my family; decisions that at times would differ from the choices he might make. I will apply broadly, but not too broadly. I will let some opportunities pass me by, if they simply do not meet our requirements. There are a couple jobs I will be applying for, which would present some difficulties for our ideal situation, but which seem just too good for me to reject off the bat. But, for the most part, I'm only applying where I think there'd be a likelihood we could stay for at least 3-5 years, and hopefully more.
The job season is fully upon us. And I'm forging ahead.
Otherwise, I've been occupied with trying to shore up a lease for an office or studio for working outside the house. I'm still looking at different ones, as I've yet to sign anything, but I'm hoping tomorrow or Friday it will be done. And, I've sent off three job applications, prepared two others, and gotten started on four more. A-yup! I renewed my membership to the professional society that has most of the listings in my [Field 1], and discovered that more than a few had been slipping past my other resources. The Rocket Scientist and I spent a good part of Monday and Tuesday nights weeding through the postings, and checking on opportunities for her in those areas.
I realized, after talking with Tasse Plein that while I appreciate his advice, I've got to make decisions for my life, my career, and my family; decisions that at times would differ from the choices he might make. I will apply broadly, but not too broadly. I will let some opportunities pass me by, if they simply do not meet our requirements. There are a couple jobs I will be applying for, which would present some difficulties for our ideal situation, but which seem just too good for me to reject off the bat. But, for the most part, I'm only applying where I think there'd be a likelihood we could stay for at least 3-5 years, and hopefully more.
The job season is fully upon us. And I'm forging ahead.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
A fable of interdiscipline
A forest lies beside a sea. The forest is filled with rich foliage, new growth and old, some burnt, from fires long since past, mushrooms and ferns grow in the leaf mold of the forest floor. Paths lead in all directions, some large and well-established, some tributaries, others marked simply by a bent twig, or a stray footprint on the ground.
The woods are inhabited by forest people, walking the paths, both large and small, established and newly formed. They pause to look up at the trees, or study the bark with magnifying glasses. Some bend down to turn up a bit of soil with a fork or trowel, gathering evidence in plastic bags for later examination; some study the roots of the trees, how they reach into the ground, or protrude above its surface. Some dwell in the middle of the forest, some by its edge. There are those who focus on old growth, and others who find fascination only in the sprouts and seedlings; still others who compare old to new.
Above the forest hover helicopters and small aircraft. On board are aerial photographers and mapmakers, looking at the forest and sea from above, noting their shape and changes in the landscape. Some observe the different colors and textures the forest growth makes, its density or gaps. They mark out the edges of the woods, marsh or field on one side, sea and shore on the other. Boats traverse the sea beside. Sailors and fishers inhabit the craft, working diligently at their tasks.
But where am I in this view? I used to walk among the forest people, stepping paths from large to small, turning soil, observing ferns and flowers, enjoying the leaves. But one day, I climbed a tree, and looked out toward the sea. The helicopters above distracted me, and I watched them hover, looking back below to see what they captured on film and paper. The sail boats were beautiful to me, crossing slowly back and forth, their sails calm or aflutter, as the winds would have them. I saw fish jump.
Then, I watched the birds who flew between the woods and the sea, up to the aircraft and down to the ground, capturing worms from the soil, and fish from the sea. How fascinating was their traveling. I climbed down and grabbed binoculars, to watch their passage more closely. I saw things from this vantage of the sea, that fishers and sailors have missed. Watching birds became a delight. I longed to meet the boat people. So I climbed down once again, and headed to the sea.
They welcomed me aboard their ships, though I was no expert at sailing or fishing. I watched and learned, gaining knowledge and insight into some aspects of their craft. In spare moments, I took out my binoculars, and watched the helicopters hover above, the trees in the distance, and the birds who flew freely between.
I've been on the aircraft too, watching the photographers and mappers engage in their tasks. I've learned bits from them, and gained facility in changing the film, or finding the right utensils and tools for the mapmakers to draw. I've looked through the lenses, even taken a few shots.
I am no expert in photography or map making. Nor am I a master sailor or fisher. I love to dwell in the woods, but find I'm more inclined to climb than to walk among the people on the ground. My tools differ from theirs. The birds are more often my guide, though they flit from one world to another. I am no ornithologist either, simply inspired by their movements.
And so, I wander back and forth, neither as good as any in their native domains. I am welcome among them all, though in ways an outsider everywhere... everywhere except when I climb the trees, or onboard a ship, or fly in the sky, peering through binoculars at the flights of the birds. I am comfortable being me in this way.
The trick is finding a way to make birdwatching through binoculars relevant to my friends in the woods, on the sea, in the air. That is the task at hand.
The woods are inhabited by forest people, walking the paths, both large and small, established and newly formed. They pause to look up at the trees, or study the bark with magnifying glasses. Some bend down to turn up a bit of soil with a fork or trowel, gathering evidence in plastic bags for later examination; some study the roots of the trees, how they reach into the ground, or protrude above its surface. Some dwell in the middle of the forest, some by its edge. There are those who focus on old growth, and others who find fascination only in the sprouts and seedlings; still others who compare old to new.
Above the forest hover helicopters and small aircraft. On board are aerial photographers and mapmakers, looking at the forest and sea from above, noting their shape and changes in the landscape. Some observe the different colors and textures the forest growth makes, its density or gaps. They mark out the edges of the woods, marsh or field on one side, sea and shore on the other. Boats traverse the sea beside. Sailors and fishers inhabit the craft, working diligently at their tasks.
But where am I in this view? I used to walk among the forest people, stepping paths from large to small, turning soil, observing ferns and flowers, enjoying the leaves. But one day, I climbed a tree, and looked out toward the sea. The helicopters above distracted me, and I watched them hover, looking back below to see what they captured on film and paper. The sail boats were beautiful to me, crossing slowly back and forth, their sails calm or aflutter, as the winds would have them. I saw fish jump.
Then, I watched the birds who flew between the woods and the sea, up to the aircraft and down to the ground, capturing worms from the soil, and fish from the sea. How fascinating was their traveling. I climbed down and grabbed binoculars, to watch their passage more closely. I saw things from this vantage of the sea, that fishers and sailors have missed. Watching birds became a delight. I longed to meet the boat people. So I climbed down once again, and headed to the sea.
They welcomed me aboard their ships, though I was no expert at sailing or fishing. I watched and learned, gaining knowledge and insight into some aspects of their craft. In spare moments, I took out my binoculars, and watched the helicopters hover above, the trees in the distance, and the birds who flew freely between.
I've been on the aircraft too, watching the photographers and mappers engage in their tasks. I've learned bits from them, and gained facility in changing the film, or finding the right utensils and tools for the mapmakers to draw. I've looked through the lenses, even taken a few shots.
I am no expert in photography or map making. Nor am I a master sailor or fisher. I love to dwell in the woods, but find I'm more inclined to climb than to walk among the people on the ground. My tools differ from theirs. The birds are more often my guide, though they flit from one world to another. I am no ornithologist either, simply inspired by their movements.
And so, I wander back and forth, neither as good as any in their native domains. I am welcome among them all, though in ways an outsider everywhere... everywhere except when I climb the trees, or onboard a ship, or fly in the sky, peering through binoculars at the flights of the birds. I am comfortable being me in this way.
The trick is finding a way to make birdwatching through binoculars relevant to my friends in the woods, on the sea, in the air. That is the task at hand.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Clandestine conference posting
I'm sitting at the conference, in the lobby outside the exhibitor's hall. Little ups... mostly down. It's rather depressing for me to be here. There was one paper this morning (ONE!) that was interesting. I had a lot to say in the discussion section, felt that I had much to contribute. Three or four people sought me out after the session to talk about things. It was exciting to hear their interest, to take their questions, to give citations and resources. I was in my element.
But it was short-lived. I met Tasse Plein for some lunch and a talk. He says he'd hate to see me limit myself geographically or school-wise, still thinks I should apply more broadly, increase my odds. Forget the number of jobs you've applied for! We're not entitled to anything. You deserve better, sure. But, we've all got to work for what we get, nothing is handed to us. One of your best qualities is your energy, your drive, your ebullience. You don't want to lose that.
As hidden tears begged to be released, I sat stone-faced, afraid that I already have. I wasn't terribly inspired. It's not his fault. But I'm depressed, depressed, depressed. It's hard to keep up appearances. I see the name tags with schools where I've applied. And I turn away. I don't want to see their faces.
I don't want anything handed to me. But damn it, I've worked hard. I just want some acknowledgment of that effort, some recognition that it's all been worthwhile.
So, I sit here, in the lobby. One session this afternoon seemed moderately interesting to me. Maybe I'll pop in to hear the second half.
Apply to more jobs again? Apply to only a targeted few? Tasse reminds me that he doesn't know anyone graduated from the University of Paradise that has broken into top schools. It's not like that's all I'm applying to. Am I out of my league? No... it's not a question of that. But... well the students who went to the big name schools have an advantage. That's reality.
Why have I cut back on the number of schools to apply to? One, I failed to renew my membership to the professional society that has the most extensive listing of appointments, so perhaps I'm missing some. And I thought the advice of targeting the best prospects seemed wise. Looks like Tasse is urging me to step back a bit into the broadcast method. [SIGH] There just are no rules, no way of knowing which is best.
Why else? I'd really like to find a job in a geographic region where my wife can also pursue a career. The two-body problem. Tasse Plein commuted (by plane) for about 10 years earlier in his career (including all of his time in Paradise. Would you recommend that?It's a choice that each couple has to make. With young kids it's not easy.
Well, writing this out helps me feel a bit more settled with it all. Blogging is therapy. Now to putting on a good face, and back to mingling.
But it was short-lived. I met Tasse Plein for some lunch and a talk. He says he'd hate to see me limit myself geographically or school-wise, still thinks I should apply more broadly, increase my odds. Forget the number of jobs you've applied for! We're not entitled to anything. You deserve better, sure. But, we've all got to work for what we get, nothing is handed to us. One of your best qualities is your energy, your drive, your ebullience. You don't want to lose that.
As hidden tears begged to be released, I sat stone-faced, afraid that I already have. I wasn't terribly inspired. It's not his fault. But I'm depressed, depressed, depressed. It's hard to keep up appearances. I see the name tags with schools where I've applied. And I turn away. I don't want to see their faces.
I don't want anything handed to me. But damn it, I've worked hard. I just want some acknowledgment of that effort, some recognition that it's all been worthwhile.
So, I sit here, in the lobby. One session this afternoon seemed moderately interesting to me. Maybe I'll pop in to hear the second half.
Apply to more jobs again? Apply to only a targeted few? Tasse reminds me that he doesn't know anyone graduated from the University of Paradise that has broken into top schools. It's not like that's all I'm applying to. Am I out of my league? No... it's not a question of that. But... well the students who went to the big name schools have an advantage. That's reality.
Why have I cut back on the number of schools to apply to? One, I failed to renew my membership to the professional society that has the most extensive listing of appointments, so perhaps I'm missing some. And I thought the advice of targeting the best prospects seemed wise. Looks like Tasse is urging me to step back a bit into the broadcast method. [SIGH] There just are no rules, no way of knowing which is best.
Why else? I'd really like to find a job in a geographic region where my wife can also pursue a career. The two-body problem. Tasse Plein commuted (by plane) for about 10 years earlier in his career (including all of his time in Paradise. Would you recommend that?It's a choice that each couple has to make. With young kids it's not easy.
Well, writing this out helps me feel a bit more settled with it all. Blogging is therapy. Now to putting on a good face, and back to mingling.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Some movements afoot
Sometimes when so much is happening in my life, it is difficult to sort it out enough to write about. And just now, I have little time. I'm heading to the rail station in about a half hour to head to a conference (SOD for those keeping track; yes, I did renew my membership, at least for another year).
I'm not presenting, but thought it would be beneficial to schmooze, rub shoulders, catch up with friends/colleagues.
Yesterday, I watched the boys full-time. The au pair was out of town for the day. It works out fine, since Friday, my usual day with the boys, I'll be at the conference.
Talked with Larry Strope on Tuesday. He had nixed the idea of my coming to visit, thinking it would be simpler to just talk on the phone. He was exceedingly enthusiastic, though he confessed he had no idea how the search would go. It was very encouraging however.
[I sit here listening to the LOUD laughter and giggles and playing of the boys and the au pair in the very next room (her bedroom) as I sit in the family room/office. Very distracting... we'll get to that below]
So, I'll be applying to Larry's center for the faculty post. That's one application sent (deadline was about a month ago, so the silence is not encouraging), and three more to send off in the next month. Two of them I've written about here recently: [Big West Coast Private University] and [Lake View University]. I need to follow up a little more on the other one, read up on their website, research faculty interests and such, call and talk with the chair perhaps, to ascertain just how promising that one really is.
Also, noticed that a school where I was shortlisted for a one-year post two years ago, has the post open now as a tenure-track gig. I haven't seen it posted on any job lists yet, but it appeared on the SOD conference website for interviews. We'll see.
And... I finally decided that I really want an office outside the house. I need to get more productive. I need to get away from the distractions, and I wish to separate my work time from my family time. I think my work will benefit and my relationships with my family will benefit from the separation. The boys will know when I'm around, I'm fair game to play with them. When I'm working, I'll be elsewhere. Also, knowing that I'm spending family money for an office will give me added incentive to make my time there as productive as possible.
I've looked at three offices. All a bit more than I wanted to spend, but all within what we can afford. In fact, because our housing costs are lower here, we'd still be spending less than we did in Paradise even if I took the more expensive of them. Hopefully, I'll have that all worked out by next week.
Meantime, I need to pack up my things and head to the train.
I'm not presenting, but thought it would be beneficial to schmooze, rub shoulders, catch up with friends/colleagues.
Yesterday, I watched the boys full-time. The au pair was out of town for the day. It works out fine, since Friday, my usual day with the boys, I'll be at the conference.
Talked with Larry Strope on Tuesday. He had nixed the idea of my coming to visit, thinking it would be simpler to just talk on the phone. He was exceedingly enthusiastic, though he confessed he had no idea how the search would go. It was very encouraging however.
[I sit here listening to the LOUD laughter and giggles and playing of the boys and the au pair in the very next room (her bedroom) as I sit in the family room/office. Very distracting... we'll get to that below]
So, I'll be applying to Larry's center for the faculty post. That's one application sent (deadline was about a month ago, so the silence is not encouraging), and three more to send off in the next month. Two of them I've written about here recently: [Big West Coast Private University] and [Lake View University]. I need to follow up a little more on the other one, read up on their website, research faculty interests and such, call and talk with the chair perhaps, to ascertain just how promising that one really is.
Also, noticed that a school where I was shortlisted for a one-year post two years ago, has the post open now as a tenure-track gig. I haven't seen it posted on any job lists yet, but it appeared on the SOD conference website for interviews. We'll see.
And... I finally decided that I really want an office outside the house. I need to get more productive. I need to get away from the distractions, and I wish to separate my work time from my family time. I think my work will benefit and my relationships with my family will benefit from the separation. The boys will know when I'm around, I'm fair game to play with them. When I'm working, I'll be elsewhere. Also, knowing that I'm spending family money for an office will give me added incentive to make my time there as productive as possible.
I've looked at three offices. All a bit more than I wanted to spend, but all within what we can afford. In fact, because our housing costs are lower here, we'd still be spending less than we did in Paradise even if I took the more expensive of them. Hopefully, I'll have that all worked out by next week.
Meantime, I need to pack up my things and head to the train.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Three deaths
My father taught me years ago to read as if the author intended me as audience, to heed their lessons as if they were teaching me, to embrace them as my friends.
Three of my dear friends, this week, passed away:
William Bright, linguist
Clifford Geertz, anthropologist
William Styron, novelist
May they rest in peace!
Three of my dear friends, this week, passed away:
William Bright, linguist
Clifford Geertz, anthropologist
William Styron, novelist
May they rest in peace!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
