Dear search committee,
Thank you for your consideration in posting an available position in your department. A total of well more than 100 departments have posted notices this year regarding expected vacancies in my field. After careful review of all the postings, which included EEO notices, descriptions of their institutions, listings of possible course and committee assignments, and requests for applicant materials, I have narrowed my applications down to about 50 semifinalists, to which I have painstakingly provided materials according to their individual specifications, some asking for teaching philosophies, or course syllabi, a CV, graduate -- some even undergraduate -- transcripts, student evaluations, writing samples or representative publications. Each application has taken me from one hour to several days to prepare.
Following careful deliberation with my wife and family, consultations with numerous colleagues and advisors, I have been so far unable to find an institution worthy of my further consideration. I would like to emphasize that the quality of schools represented has been diverse, but mostly holding to very high standards, each with their own inherent worth, and that the failure to hire me implies no reduction of those qualities. Please be advised that I expect to reopen the search in the coming year (pending budgetary approval), and encourage you to repost a revised position, if you wish to be considered for my application. I congratulate you on your having found a new colleague to serve at your institution this year, and wish you all the best for the future.