Years ago, a friend of my wife's (let's call her Kay) would call, every few weeks or so, with one purpose alone: to bemoan the state of her romantic life. She would flit from one deadbeat to another, each relationship lasting a few spare months or weeks, usually dangling on by a thread for the longer than the shorter, just to make her that bit more miserable, and to enable her to bore me and my wife to tears as she recounted the horrors of her existence. As you might suspect, my wife (as ever) had more patience than I. Fortunately, Kay eventually found a fine fellow (though I can't account for his sense of taste!), and we attended the wedding.
The point of this is neither to introduce you to Kay, nor to discuss relationships, but rather to introduce an annoying element of people: their undying propensity to bore others with their whining. And, as the song says "... and here I go, again". What have I become?
I'm a whiner. I'm a sad sack, miserable, mumbling, can't get anywhere kind of a guy. I don't smile enough anymore. I'm not as nice to people as I would like to be. I more often recognize their incompetence than their humanity.
Sheepish on Happy Ending recently posed the question: Work is what you do, not who you are. Agree or disagree?. But... what I am right now is miserable. Sure, my work is merely one aspect of my life, but just now, I'm stuck... because without that aspect of my life on track, any track please!, I'm adrift, lost without a compass, no heading, no wind, no stars, just... empty.
And thus, I find myself become a wretch with whom any of my former selves would shirk to associate. Indeed, even the wretch of myself that I am becoming recognizes this, as his eye contact (with anyone) is kept for the most part to a bare minimum. Not me. Not like me. I'm an outgoing, jolly, happy, sociable, clever, fun, roll-with-the-punches, chameleon kind of a fellow. But what have I become?