What do you say, when there's nothing to say?

My energy is down a bit. Not really depressed. Not really sad. Just a bit numb I guess. I spent much of yesterday and this morning dealing with our taxes. Non-Americans out there, count yourself blessed that you don't have to deal with these ridiculously complicated tax procedures! Suffice it to say, all the forms are printed out, and ready for signatures to be sent off. Yeah!

That's one more thing off the to-do list. I still need to finish my cleaning and organizing, which did make some progress yesterday, despite the exorbitant amount of time needed for taxes.

I haven't been in to campus for more than a week. The flu has kept me not wanting to leave the house more than necessary. And, since I was getting a lot of writing done sitting here at home, there was no point. But, the lack of socializing makes a hermit out of me.

Just now, I'm floudering a bit. I guess I often find myself at this point when I finish a big project (in this case the "dissertation distillation" article), especially when as lately the event flourishes with a minor splash, a few concentric waves emulating outward, then fading. I've written before about how anti-climactic finishing the dissertation was for me.

The feeling is of putting on a one-man show without an audience. The house is there, the lights, the curtain, the seats, the stage. And there I stand, imagining the audience, the critics, the applause. But so far they're only in my mind. Why does this still feel like a rehearsal?