A few days ago, I wrote that it's harder to get depressed. Harder, yes... but not impossible. Today was a down day, partly due to circumstance, as you may have read in my earlier posts. I still have no email. But more... I'm caught up in self-doubt. Of course, I know it won't serve me. Who cares if I'm unsure? Either I act, or I don't; and the latter choice is rather untenable. I have to move; I have to act.
But it's a slippery slope, once I let myself slide. Life's unfair... I'm stuck... I'm unappreciated... dumb luck...
[SIGH] But it won't serve. As my wife reminds me (echoing Paul) "you're in your head... get out of your head." It's true. Very simple really. It's easier now to identify the markers, to see through my own attitudes, the lies I tell myself (as Paul might say). Indeed.
But some days... I still get down, lonely, afraid. Today was one of those days.