Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A little work'll do you good

Here's a little check-in I just sent to my coach. I've got to take off early now, to take the Painter to swim lessons. Paul had suggested recently that my frequent emails or phone calls seem to benefit me, and that he's happy to have them, so:
Hi Paul,

I was a bit down this morning. I'm stressed today by all the uncertainty, and oppressed by my own attachment to feedback. A few of the people I've emailed in the past month have remained silent, allowing the yeast of my mind to ferment in worries. I think of your caution following [Industry Conference West] to not allow myself too much to dwell in my head.

When I sit, and wonder which direction to go, I wallow in misery. Rocket says not to worry about her, and we've looked over the finances, and I know that we'd survive. But I worry nonetheless about making an income. I know: one thing at a time. I've got time to get there. October (the soonest she might take off from work) is a ways away. June 1st is my target for the first "sales call." Patience. It will come.

I finished reading over the articles by Matt Suliman yesterday, and typed up my notes. I went over them a bit today, and got the courage to send him an email with some questions and comments. Then, I dove back into my analysis. I really enjoy this work. God, I want just so much to find a landing spot. I don't have to stay there, but I want somewhere to pause, to have the leisure to complete a project, knowing that I'll get paid for it, that it will lead somehow to the next one.

It's like swimming across an ocean. I want some places to pause, check my heading, to be sure I'm not swimming endlessly in circles.


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